Family Counselling - More Together (F/mfMF)

[KP Presents]

Anna and Maria came to see me with their sons, Karl and Peter. Karl was eleven, and Peter nine – and their parents had an unusual request to make of me, involving them and Peter in particular.

Anna was wearing a black jersey dress, the shoulders slightly down to reveal the straps of her red bra, as well as dark tights and black felt boots, while Maria was wearing a black satin top, a tan skirt, dark hose and knee length leather boots, with a purple shawl over her shoulders. They explained that Peter wanted to know what it was like to be tied up and gagged – but as Petra, not Peter.

I looked at the young boy, who was wearing a white t-shirt, jeans and sneakers, and asked him to go and get changed while Karl helped me to get their mothers ready. He was wearing a checked shirt, jeans and brown shoes, and had in past sessions got most out of being the one who did the binding.

I asked Anna and Maria to sit on the floor, back-to-back, and bend their legs before crossing their wrists and resting them on their knees. Karl then took some lengths of white rope, and started with Anna, binding her wrists tightly together in front of her, then securing her ankles and her legs below her knees, before tying her wrists down to her knees.

He then did the same thing to Maria, before I took a longer rope and tied their arms to their upper bodies, and their waist to each other – Karl did not do that part, for fairly obvious reasons. I then gagged Maria with her shawl, her lips over the rolled-up wool, and used a second shawl to gag her partner.

As I did this, Peter – Sorry, Petra came in, wearing a blue pinafore dress over his top, and a red shawl tied over his hair and under his chin. Karl took some more rope, and tied his brother’s wrists together in front of him before he sat to the side of his mothers, and watched as his legs and wrists were secured in the same way as them. Karl also tied some ropes round his arms and chest to keep them secured as well, before I removed the shawl and gagged Petra with it as well.

I took Karl to have a drink as all three of them struggled happily, and enjoyed the experience…



I do offer ways for new families to bond together as well – another newly married couple were Sue and Clarissa, who booked a session with me and their daughters. She had long brown hair, and on her visit was wearing a light blue top and jeans tucked into burgundy leather boots. Her daughter Amy was eleven, and was wearing a black pinafore dress over a peach top, white tights and black shoes, her light brown hair in two pigtails.

Clarissa had shorter darker brown hair, and was wearing a light purple jumper and jeans tucked into black boots, with a red and black scarf tied round her neck. Her eight-year-old daughter Jo was wearing a light blue jumper and jeans, hers tucked into a pair of purple Ugg boots.

Sue explained to me that their daughters knew they both liked to play – games with each other, and occasionally they had tied them up as well – but now they were a family, they wanted to show them they were loved by both mothers. I nodded, and said I could provide a safe place to do that in my office. So I opened a box of supplies, and the girls looked at the contents before I asked Sue to tie Jo up.

Jo took a length of white rope from the box and handed it to Sue, who took her hands behind her back and then used the rope to secure her wrists together, asking her all the time if she was comfortable. She then passed a longer rope round her daughter’s arms and stomach in a double figure of eight, before helping her to sit on a bean bag and securing her ankles and her legs with more rope.

As she was doing that, Clarissa took some rope from the bag and started to tie Amy’s wrists together behind her back, and then secured her arms to her sides in the same way as her new sister. She then sat down on a bean bag next to Jo, as Sue secured her ankles together, and then her legs below her knees as well.

The two girls twisted round and smiled, before their mothers cleave gagged each of them with rolled up headscarves, and sat holding them and telling them how much they loved them. After a while, I tied both of them up and cleave gagged them in the same way as the girls so they could all sit together, and spend some quality time bonding in every way as a family…


As you know, a large art of my practice is helping families work through their emotions about what has happened to them – a recent example would be with Elaine, who one day had a visit to her home by one of the people known as the Games Players. She had made her tell her daughters they were playing a game, and tied and gagged all three of them before stealing her valuables – but while the girls had accepted what had happened, Elaine was still having bad dreams about it, so they were referred to me for a session.

All three had long dark hair – Elaine was wearing a light blue sweater, jeans and brown shoes, while her thirteen-year-old daughter Zoe was wearing a pink t-shirt and leggings with a black tiered skirt that had a floral print, and pink baseball boots. Her younger sister Zara was ten years old, and wearing a white sleeveless smock and black leggings with brown Ugg ankle boots.

I sat and talked with them for a while about what had happened – the Player had surprised Elaine, tied her hands behind her back, and then she had to pretend to the girls this was a game. So the first revelation was when Zoe said she knew they were being robbed – but she played along to keep Zara calm. At which point, Zara also said she knew it was a robbery, and she had played along to keep her sister and mother calm.

Elaine looked at both of them and then started crying as they hugged her. I asked her to sit on a white wooden chair, and then I handed her daughters a roll of duct tape each. Naturally, Elaine asked me what they were for – and I told her I wanted Zoe and Zara to tape her on and to the chair, so that she knew she was safe with them.

The girls kept talking to their mother, telling her they both loved her, as they put her arms to the side of the chair and taped her wrists against the wood,, then while Zoe wrapped tape round Elaine’s upper arms, Zara wrapped her tape around her mother’s stomach and the chair back.

The then put her ankles against the front legs of the chair and secured them to the wood, as well as passing tape around her lap and the seat of the chair. Elaine seemed to be happy – eve when Zoe pressed some of the tape down over her mouth as well to keep her quiet.

She nodded as they both hugged her and told her how much they loved her - and I saw the tear start to roll down her cheek as she nodded. So I told the girls to sit down and tape their ankles and legs together, before I secured their wrists behind their back, sat them back-to-back, and taped them together as well.

By the time I released them, they all felt a lot happier…



Anxiety about the family is a situation I do often have to help victims of robberies work through. Belinda and her sister Rose had been at her house when a gang had broken in, tied and gagged them both, and robbed them – leaving them in Belinda’s front room, while their two babies were asleep upstairs, and their genuine fear was for them.

A fear that was still affecting them, so they were referred to me. Belinda had her hair pulled back in a ponytail, and had on a brown chiffon blouse over a black bra, faded jeans and brown high cowboy style boots. Her sister was wearing a white and blue long top over a blue and black floral skirt, dark hose and knee length black fabric boots.

They also had their babies with them. Belinda’s was a year old, wearing a pink checked dress with a shrug top, white tights and pink shoes, while Rose’s little girl was in a dress with panels of blue denim, white with red roses, and white with red strips, as well as white tights and a pink cap on her head.

I asked them to put the babies in a playpen where they could see them, and told them I was going to take them through what happened in the robbery – but this time, they could see their babies all the time. They both agreed to this, so I took the hands of each of them behind their backs and then secured them together with white rope.

I then made sure their arms were held against their sides, the bands framing their chests, before they sat on the floor and stretched their legs out. I crossed and bound their ankles tightly together, and then secured their legs together above and below their knees, so that they were bound in the same way as when the robbers called.

I then had to keep them quiet in the same way, so I folded two bandanas and pushed them into their mouths, and then covered their lips with black tape.

So there they were, not scared because I had reassured them the whole time. But there was a really important thing I had to know, as I lifted the babies out of the playpen and set them down next to Belinda and Rose, so that they could crawl over their mothers, fearless, accepting them even as they were.

A very powerful way of dealing with their fears, as they laughed under the gags…




One question I do get asked is “You deal with a lot of female relatives – do the men ever take part in their sessions?”

Well, they do – I invite you to talk to Dave. He manages a small bank branch, and lives with his wife Rhonda, and their children – four-year-old Sophie and seven-year-old Billy. A few weeks ago, his family were held hostage at home while his branch was robbed – insurance. He was not at home, and felt both afraid and guilty about what happened – so the whole family were referred to me to work through their feelings.

I sat and talked with each of them individually, as Rhonda told me what had happened - they had used duct tape to secure her and the children, and to keep them quiet, and their fear had been quite genuine. So I said I would like to take them through a scenario with another form of tape – one that would not hurt – and that Dave would also take part in the exercise.

When I met them for this, Rhonda was wearing a white dress with the sleeves rolled back slightly, a wide black leather belt around her waist, and brown boots. Dave was wearing a brown shirt and white shorts, thing sandals on his feet. Bobby was also wearing a brown polo shirt and white cargo pants, and he was barefoot as was Sophie. His sister was wearing a blue striped sundress held up by thin brown straps, a brown pleated hem on the skirt.

The first thing I had to do was show them the tape would not hurt, so I peeled a short length off a roll and placed it on the back of their hands, so they would be able to know how it felt.

Dave asked them if they were all right, and they all nodded as I asked Rhonda to take her boots off, and then for them all to sit against the wall. I started with Sophie, the young girls watching with a worried look as I used the white micropore tape to secure her ankles together. I then took care of Bobby, both of them looking at their parents as Dave told them they were ging to be all right. Dave then watched as I taped his wife’s ankles together, and then did the same to him.

I paused and asked them all if they were all right, before I taped their legs together below their knees as well. I let them twist their legs round for a moment, before I helped Dave and Rhonda to stand up, and look at the kids while I took their hands behind their backs and taped their wrists together. I did this because I wanted both Bobby and Sophie to see there was nothing to fear – and for their parents to know they were not scared as well.

I also wrapped some tape round their arms to fix them in place, before helping them to sit down and the kids to stand up and face them. I then taped their wrists and arms as well before they sat down, Sophie on Rhonda’s lap and Bobby with his head against his father’s arm. The last thing was to press the white tape over their mouths as they stayed together as a family, and let their fears go…




I want to share one more tale with you, but I need to give some background to this. The conflict in Ukraine has meant a lot of people fleeing the war, and some families have ended up in this country – but they brought their fears with them as well. This is not the place to go into some of their stories, but when Natalya contacted me, and asked for my help to allow them to let go of their feelings and fears.

Natalya is a leader in a local Ukrainian community – she is in her late fifties, and had been joined at her home by her daughter Daryna, and the three granddaughters – twelve-year-old Kalina, eleven-year-old Mukhaila, and five-year-old Galyna. She wanted to have a true family bonding session – but the scenario was each of them being taken hostage in turn, and then brought together so they could be with each other.

So I called round, taking plenty of supplies with me, on a Saturday afternoon to Natalya’s mansion. She had short blonde hair, and was wearing a black military style coat dress over a long-sleeved cream top, the pencil skirt of the dress coming down and over the top of her long black suede boots.

She asked If I would secure her first – I had done this before, and again this is not the place to discuss that time. But I crossed and bund her wrists together behind her back with black rope, and then frame her chest as I secured them with more bands. She then sat down, watching as I bound her ankles, the black suede lightening under the tension of the ropes, as well as her legs below her knees.

I then heled her to lie on her side on the couch and pushed a sponge into her mouth, before covering her lips with micropore tape – and that was when her daughter Daryna came in. He blonde hair fell over the shoulders of her cream shirt dress, and she was wearing knee length black fabric boots with a high heel.

She looked at Natalya, and saw her nod before I took her arms behind her back, and bound her elbows and wrists together before I wound the rope round her upper body. The shirt dress had a high collar, which protected her neck as I secured the ropes further, before she sat in another armchair and I secured her legs before I gagged her as well.

Mother and daughter looked at each other as the door opened, and the younger girls came in. Kalina was obviously wearing a large brown wig, pulled back and with a gold ring clasp holding it in place, while she was dressed in a gold velour top and pants, the sleeves of the top with a gold metallic print. She was also wearing yellow socks and gold high tops.

Mukhaila had log light brown hair, and was wearing a blue cardigan over a sleeveless black dress. The dress had a short skirt, and a wide white collar at the neck. She was also wearing short padded black fabric boots. And then there was little Galyna, who was wearing a long sleeved red traditional dress with white lace details, blue leggings with white polka dots, and black Ugg ankle boots. She had long brown hair cu tin a fringe on her forehead.

All three girls looked at their mother and grandmother, before I asked Kalina to help me by securing her youngest sister, while I took care of Mukhaila. Both of them put their hands behind their backs and allowed us to secure their wrists together, before we wrapped rope round their arms and stomachs so they were secured there as well. I had discussed with their mother and grandmother how they would be left, as we helped them to sit back-to-back on the floor and secured their ankles together, as well as their legs below their knees before their legs were bent, and ropes tied from their stomachs to their knees.

I checked they were both all right, before I pressed the white tape down over their mouths – and then it was Kalina’s turn. I secured her wrists together behind her back, and her arms to her sides, before I helped her to lie face down on the floor with a cushion under her head.

She looked at the others as I bound her ankles together, the rope sinking into the velour, and then her legs below her knees before I bent her legs and placed her in a light hogtie – and then I pressed the tape down gently over her mouth as all five of them started to try to escape. I went to the kitchen – waiting on whoever was to escape first…