An Interview with a Sleuth (F)

[TamatoaShiny123]

(Note: this idea was given to me by [mention]Stiletto Amore[/mention] , who also gave me permission to write this. Hope you enjoy!)

Location: a tv network in LA

”Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for Interview with a Sleuth with your host, Troy McClure!”

A man with impeccable brown hair wearing a pink sweater over a green shirt and red tie and brown loafers emerged as the crowd cheered.

“Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from movies such as ‘The Revenge of Abe Lincoln’ and ‘Hydro: The Man with the Hydrolic Arms’. Now, you may be wondering why a Hollywood icon like myself is doing this show.”

Troy gave the camera a sheepish grin. “Well, I have to do some community service due to an...incident at a McDonalds. But enough about me! Let’s meet today’s guest!”

The cameras and spotlights were pointed to the entranceway. “This dynamite detective has solved strings of art thievery, corrupt government officials and counterfeit schemes. Ladies and gentlemen, Samantha Ward!”

Samantha Ward emerge, wearing a long sleeve white blouse, green and black school tie and blue jeans. The audience greeted her warmly as she sat down.

“Thank you for coming, Sam.”
“No problem. And let me say, Troy, that you are the perfect replacement host, Mr. Clark. Who knew he was the one who was haunting this studio?”
“Last week’s guest, Daphne Blake, did.”
“She sure did. What an icon.”
“I know, right? Well anyway, viewers of this show have been sending in questions to ask you. Are you ready to answer some of them?”
“Does Penelope Pitstop know how to apply lipstick?”
“That’s the spirit?”

The question appeared on the screen behind the two. “Our first question comes from Susie in U. Town, USA. She asks:”
”What was your favorite book series?”

“Well, Troy, my favorite books were the Nancy Drew books. Her adventures in River Heights solving mysteries, investigating clocks, rescuing refugees from Hungary. Besides this, she had many other admirable skills?”
“Such as?”
“Well, she was a master seamstress and an excellent cook. Lucky girl, I can only cook toast.”
“Cooking, eh? I had a cooking show once.”
“I’ve heard of that. Didn’t it get canceled one episode in after you nearly burned the studio trying to cook a pot of beans?”

Troy gave the camera a blank look. “...moving onto the next question. This one’s from P. Elena, who writes:

”What’s the best sleuthing outfit?”

“Well, if you’re talking about best as in ‘comfy’, I’d say a tank top and sweatpants. But best as in ‘best-looking’, I’d say the outfit I’m wearing right now. That way, if you get caught, you can at least look your best. Although, I’d forego the tie I’m wearing.”

Troy furrowed his brow. “Why?”
“Well, the people who catch me usually use my school tie to gag me by tying it between my teeth.”
“Really?”
“Yep. It’s used so often as a gag, it’s starting to have bite marks!”

Troy laughed. “That’s...kinda odd. Well, last question we go to break, let’s look at the question Evilsweep sent in.”

”What was your favorite case?”

“Hmm...I’m not sure. There was that time I was investigating a string of art thiefs. The mastermind’s son was quite inept at the business of tying up nosy detectives like myself, so I helped him out a bit.”
“You did?!”
“Yep. I told him what to do, like how to tie my hands and how to gag me.”
“Let me guess; with your tie?”
“Right on the money, Troy! The son, Dan was his name, was a sweet guy. A shame that I had to put away him and his mom.”
“How’d you get out?”
“Well, after I slipped out of the ropes-“
“He didn’t tie them tight enough?”
“He did. But, I’m a pretty good escape artist. So, it was easy to free myself.”
“You’re an escape artist?”
“A bit. I-“
“I’m sorry, but we need to go to commercial! We’ll hear your answer right after the break!”

[commercial break]

TBC

[Deleted User 2162]

Oh this is going to get good, I can already tell.

[Deleted User 769]

Hurrah! It's so exciting to see my name up in lights.
I only hope the second half of this TV interview goes as well as the first,..

[TamatoaShiny123]

Part 2:

”And we’re back!”

“Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from specials as “Let’s Save MC Hammer’s House” and “Phantom of the Opera Meets The Jersey Shore”. Anyway, I’m back with Samantha Ward. Now, before the commercial break, you said you were a bit of an escape artist. Care to elaborate?”
“Well, as a detective, I often get tied up a lot by criminals who don’t want me to spill the beans on their nefarious plots. So, I sometimes practice by having others tie me up.”
“Who do you get to tie you?”
“Usually my friend, Emily.” Sam waved to the camera. “Hi Emily. Love ya!”
“So, she ties you up?”
“Yep. Hands behind my back, legs, cloth between my teeth. That’s how criminals usually tie me.”
“So, does she help you with solving crimes?”
“Nah, I don’t like sharing the glory,” Sam answered with a giggle.
“But isn’t not getting her help inhibiting your solving of the crimes and resulting in you getting yourself captured more often?”

Sam looked at Troy blankly for a solid thirty seconds before saying, “Yea...no offense, but I’m gonna stick to my own way. Next question, please?”
“Ok then! This next one comes from Jen, who writes:

”What’s the scariest part about being a teen detective?”

“Well, I’d have to say it’s when someone holds up a gun to me.”
“That’s a fair answer.”
“But that’s not usually the case. Half the time the gun isn’t even loaded and sometimes it’s not even a gun. In one of my first cases, I was held up by what I thought was a gun, but I learned later that it was actually a cheap cigarette lighter!”
“You fell for that?”
“It was my first case.”
“But don’t guns and lighters usually look different?”
“It looked a lot like a gun. A LOT!”

Troy looked a bit confused but still went on. “Very well. This next one comes from Stilleto A. who asks:”

”What’s something that we may not know about you?”

“Well, I am a bit of an athlete. I’m on my school’s field hockey team.”
“You are?”
“Yep. My athleticism has benefited my detective career. Speed helps me run from crooks, helps with strategic thinking and it even has led to some escape practice.”
“It has? What happened?”
“Well, one time, a group of students from a rival team kidnapped me so that I couldn’t play against them. They gagged me with my own hockey socks, which I can tell you is no pleasant experience!”
“Believe me, I know. After all, I starred in ‘Three Rollerblades Behind My Back’. Anyway, did you escape in time?”
“Yep. Made it right before the first whistle! And I even got revenge on those girls by hip checking them into next week!”

Troy raised his hands in celebration. “Terrific! Now, we have time for one more question before we have to cut to commer-“ Suddenly, Troy’s phone rang. He nearly squealed in glee upon seeing the number who called him.

“It’s my agent! Probably here to let me know that I got the main role in the upcoming Broadway musical, ‘Christmas Chimp Goes to Summer Camp: The Rock Opera!’ I gotta answer this! Cut to commercial!”
“But you didn’t ask me-“
“Now!”

[commercial break]

TBC

[Ducttapelover93]

Would love to hear the story about the rival hockey team. As always great story!

[Deleted User 769]

Would love to hear the story about the rival hockey team. As always great story!

That story (and many more) will be in my upcoming memoir:
"How to succed in sleuthing without really trying - aka: the perils of being a damsel in distress"
(*Working title)
Call my literary agent to arrange a book signing/ q and a with the author

[TamatoaShiny123]

Would love to hear the story about the rival hockey team. As always great story!

That story (and many more) will be in my upcoming memoir:
"How to succed in sleuthing without really trying - aka: the perils of being a damsel in distress"
(*Working title)
Call my literary agent to arrange a book signing/ q and a with the author

That’ll b a definite future best-seller!

[Solarbeast]

This is an interesting story idea and I can't wait to see where this goes in the future updates.

[TamatoaShiny123]

Part 3:

”And we’re back!”

“Hi, I’m Troy McClure. So, bad news: my agent said I didn’t get the part. Heck, the musical was cancelled on the grounds of ‘not being relevant since twenty years ago’. Oh, so now ‘relevance’ is necessary in this business?! *sigh* So...why am I hear again?”

Sam waved her hand. “Uh...hello?”
“Wuh-oh, right! Okay, so the next question is from Stevie, who writes:”

”Do your parents support your detective career?”

“Yes they do! Well, kinda. They support me solving crimes, but they don’t like me doing it so...”
“Directly?” Troy offered.
“Yes, definitely! They feel that it’s too dangerous for me to confront crooks. I mean, yea, they always tie me up. But I never wind up hurt and I always escape and get home in time for dinner.”
“Always?”
“Well, except for one time when I was locked inside a meat locker that had horrible cell reception. Let’s say that on that night, both my dinner and my body got cold.”
“How chilling.” Troy laughed at his own joke, but stopped when he saw Sam’s icy (pun intended) glare.

“*clears throat* Anyway, the next question is from Lara C., who asks:”

”Any advice for wannabe detectives?”

“Well, I guess to always follow your gut. If your school headmistress is acting odd, act on it. Odds are, she’s misappropriating school funds. Does an abandoned warehouse look likes it where stolen pictures are? Check it out.”

“I follow my gut when picking out roles,” Troy offered. “That’s why I played Nancy Headparrot on ‘Avenge My Death if I Die in Italy’.”
“But isn’t Nancy a girl’s name?”
“The character’s mother had a delightfully odd sense of humor.”
“Ah.”

“Well, it looks like we have time for one more question. It comes from Natalie, who writes:

“Is there a future for you in the detective area?”

“Maybe. I mean, yea, watching the look on the criminal’s face when they’re busted is priceless, but come on, is there any money in constantly being tied up?”
“Really? I’ve heard different,” Troy replied with a wink to the camera.

Sam looked quite confused and a little bit disturbed. “Uh...what are you implying? Is it about those fish-“
“Andthat’sallthetimewehavefortoday! Tune in next time for our interview with Penny Gadget! Goodnight, everybody!

The End