Riders of the Midnight Sun (f+/f+) Chapter 19 Posted 2023-04-23

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Post by Caesar73 »

I liked the way Sweet Becky and her fellow captive communicated - afine idea !
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Post by Shotrow »

[mention]GreyLord[/mention] - Technically, she was introduced all the way back in Chapter 9, but this is the first chapter where she's played any significant role. She was actually created for this story by a friend of mine.

[mention]Caesar73[/mention] - Thanks! I was worried it might come across as too indulgent.
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Post by Mineira1986 »

Best chapter so far? I think it's best chapter so far.

Not sure if this was the author's original intentions, but hear me out: this started with an experienced player like Sweet Becky taking care of the newcomer Singing Laura. It showed a kind of mentor-apprentice relationship. And when calamity stroke (named Shy Sarah), they were forced apart. Laura couldn't do anything to help Becky.

In this chapter, Becky is sort of the newcomer. I think she's been in other prisons before, as sometimes from her point of view she's not that unfamiliar with the system. But in Fort Mallow, she's the new one. And the other girls try to teach her the sign language (beautifully done by the way). But eventually, they walk away. There's one girl who sticks around and tries to mentor her in a kind way: Fancy Delilah.

So now it's the other way around.

Not just that, but after learning Fancy Delilah's situation, I bet she sees some of Singing Laura in Fancy Delilah. She feels it's her obligation to help her out. She debates if it would be better to stay out of trouble or if she need to help Delilah out of Fort Mallow.

Both Laura and Becky will greatly change from their current adventures. Cannot wait to see what happens when the two eventually reunite =).
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Post by trainer »

Great writing! Liking the angle of the prison story so far. I guess it might be hard to describe some of the more tedious parts of her sentence without boring the reader but it might have been nice to get a couple lines of description in about the bondage/the work she was required to do just cause we are on a thread like this :P

Excited to see where the two plot lines go!
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Post by Shotrow »

[mention]Mineira1986[/mention] Thanks for that amazing breakdown! A lot of this was definitely not intentional. I'm more-or-less writing this story chapter-by-chapter, so any overarching themes are unintentional. Singing Laura, for instance, was only created as an audience surrogate for Sweet Becky to explain things to. But once these characters are out in the world, they do kind of take on a life of their own.

[mention]trainer[/mention] Thanks! I did mention at the start that she was shoveling dirt and debris into a cart. But yeah, I'm still working on finding the right balance between titillation and plot progression.
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

Hey,

Took me a while, but I did get around to finishing reading.

There are a lot of things to like.

The whimsical names (which seem oddly fitting, despite how silly they are), the video game world with it's arbitrary and often ridiculous (and abusable) rules, the large cast of characters and generally varied plotlines/events. Really feels like the reader is given a solid view into many parts of this wonderful fantasy world.

What I find interesting is that it does not seem that the 'point' of the game is conflict, but because the mechanics are in place to facilitate it, as mentioned before, the situation sort of devolves into chaos as people decide to seek their own fun outside of the intent of the creators.

One thing I will say, kind of surprising it is apparently very annoying to transfer worlds. You would think they would let people shop around, as one's tastes can easily change as they grow up.

Sweet Becky seems to trend towards mentoring/helping others; Singing Laura, and now Fancy Delilah in the prison. A nice counterbalance to her more wild side.
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Post by Shotrow »

Thanks for your comment! I'm really glad you decided to check out this story. I appreciate the way you notice all those details.

You raise a good point about interests changing as people grow up. So far I haven't really explored that aspect, as pretty much everyone featured so far is a lifer in one game or another. But as for the difficulty in transferring, aside from being a handy explanation for why people don't just transfer to avoid imprisonment and why Happy Trails is culturally isolated, I think that's somewhat explained by the fact that the purpose of the games isn't primarily entertainment. They're supposed to have therapeutic and educational value, and it might be believed that those values are enhanced by encouraging people to commit to one world and develop deep relations with the community.

Good observation about Sweet Becky. Though so far, Fancy Delilah has been the one doing the mentoring.
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago Though so far, Fancy Delilah has been the one doing the mentoring.
Well, perhaps mentoring was the wrong word for what I meant. 'Empathetic' might perhaps be more accurate although that still is not the right word I think; she recognizes Fancy Delilah's situation and feels bad for her, and actually wants to do something about it.
Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago being a handy explanation for why people don't just transfer to avoid imprisonment and why Happy Trails is culturally isolated
I do agree with needing some in-universe reason to prevent these things, although there are alternatives - maybe prison sentences carry over between worlds to avoid this issue, although of course that would be complex with the ad hoc 'citizen's justice' style systems, and especially considering the fact that in such a scenario Sweet Becky might still choose to transfer simply to get an easier punishment instead of being tormented.

Speaking of torments, I do find it amusing that the combination of 'game rules' plus the limited sensory immersion is used as a justification for why tickling is the punishment of choice. Not my first choice, but I respect it, and the way it is integrated in-universe.

But I guess really my 'point', if there was one (as it was mostly just an observation) was that if it is so hard to transfer, why are there not more adults in Happy Trails? So far only one is mentioned, and it is heavily implied that it is a pretty rare thing.

Of course that could also be explained away by claiming it is a relatively new world and therefore has not existed long enough for the initial adopters to grow up yet.
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Post by Shotrow »

Part of the reason for the emphasis on tickling is trying to strike the right balance and not have the story be considered too extreme for the forum. I get the impression that the "acceptable" torments in the stories for everyone are basically down to tickling, spanking, and bad smells. I like spanking, but not in excess, and bad smells are a huge turnoff, so I was basically left with tickling.

Anyways, I didn't mean to give the impression that transferring worlds is that hard. It has to be planned a few days in advance to give the paperwork time to be processed, and there may be steps you need to take in-game to make sure your virtual property is safe in your absence, but it's very manageable for players who are sufficiently motivated. Smiling Reilly did it just to watch his sister's business for a few days and there will likely be other characters that go in and out fairly regularly.

So yeah, the answer to your question is that Happy Trails is considered a kid's game and most players eventually "outgrow" it and move on to more adult games without profanity filters and name restrictions.

As for prison sentences carrying over between worlds... one problem with that is that different worlds might have completely different rules and justice systems, so there may not be a way to deliver an equivalent punishment in a different world. In fact, you may have just inspired an idea for the other game that may come into the story if and when the story ever moves there...
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago Part of the reason for the emphasis on tickling is trying to strike the right balance and not have the story be considered too extreme for the forum. I get the impression that the "acceptable" torments in the stories for everyone are basically down to tickling, spanking, and bad smells. I like spanking, but not in excess, and bad smells are a huge turnoff, so I was basically left with tickling.
Well, the point of what I said was not to criticize, instead it was to praise how it was connected into the actual world rather then just being arbitrary 'story tropes' with zero explanation. I was aware of the reasons but did not want to explain all of them for the sake of brevity (because you already knew them of course). But that ended up happening anyways. Oops.
Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago So yeah, the answer to your question is that Happy Trails is considered a kid's game and most players eventually "outgrow" it and move on to more adult games without profanity filters and name restrictions.
Fair enough.
Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago As for prison sentences carrying over between worlds... one problem with that is that different worlds might have completely different rules and justice systems, so there may not be a way to deliver an equivalent punishment in a different world. In fact, you may have just inspired an idea for the other game that may come into the story if and when the story ever moves there...
Well yes. Hence my comment about 'ad-hoc justice systems'. But I am glad my musings were inspirational.


All this does inspire some thoughts about the nature of 'economics' in virtual worlds like this. Goods are constantly created/deleted as new people join/abandon the game, and the value of goods is primarily determined by their prestige rather then any practical value (well I guess that is not entirely true, better horses are actually... better). Wonder how much trade occurs between players - I would assume not much as the game world seems fairly locked down in that regard, requiring either payment or effort to acquire things.

But those are even more incoherent musings, so do not read too much into them...
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Post by Shotrow »

Haha, well I'm just saying that I hope I can maintain some variety with the torments going forward.

Virtual world economics has actually been a particular interest of mine for awhile now, so I actually have put some thought into the economy of Happy Trails. I'm happy to talk about it!

Some things are locked down as you put it, but there is still a player-player economy. We saw part of it in the form of Little Jane's place. There's also a big trade in pets, and people make money by breeding and raising them. Some pets produce goods (things like wool, milk, eggs) which can be crafted into other things. There's also some amount of farming going on.

There are also some services that only some players can perform because of either player skill or in-game reasons. Some players are better at training than others, so they might hire out their services. Other services are based on having access to the right facilities. A small town might have only one blacksmith shop, and only one person can lease it at a time, and that person will be the only one who can shoe horses. There's a small risk of players leasing a building and not doing anything with it, but it's a fairly short lease and the price scales with demand, so it's not that big of a problem.

And then there's the black market of inter-game trading, which Little Jane and Smiling Reilly are involved in...
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Post by Shotrow »

Today's update once again comes with an illustration, this time commissioned from 00m:

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Anyways, on to the chapter.
Chapter 15
Logs crashed and banged against each other as they floated down the whitewater river. A long net, strung across most of the river's length, funneled them into an intricate structure built over the water. Whole logs went in, but only neatly sliced planks came out, ejected out of the side of the building.

If there was a source for these logs, Singing Laura couldn't see it as she and Pretty Polly lay face down on top of a grassy hill overlooking the log mill. Four logs drifted back and forth along the opposite bank of the river, tethered to nearby trees to keep them from drifting into the mill. Tied to each one was one of the captives brought from the town square.

Just upstream, Bright Sally hung from a tree branch over the rushing water. She was in an uncomfortable position, supported only by her ankles and waist, with her arms tied behind her back. The little girl strained to keep her body straight, and her head dipped into the water every time she relaxed.

"I told you! I don't know where she is!" Bright Sally insisted in a whimpering tone. Clearly exhausted, she took a deep breath and let her head drop into the water.

"Guess it's time to let another one of your friends go…" one of the two Summer Campers standing on the shore taunted in a sing-songy voice. The dark-haired girl loosened the knot holding one of the four logs to the tree.

Bright Sally came up coughing and sputtering. "I don't know any of these girls! You're just killing innocent bystanders!" she cried, "Just get it over with and throw me in already!"

The other Summer Camper, a light-haired girl, grunted. "We're wasting time. Let's just throw her in with the others."

Pretty Polly put her hand on Singing Laura's shoulder as the dark-haired girl finished untying the knot, sending one of the logs flowing freely. The girl tied to it, a redhead dressed in a simple cotton dress, struggled violently and screamed into her gag as she bumped along the net toward her doom. The look of horror in her eye as she was sucked into the darkness of the lumber mill shook Singing Laura to her core. She was grateful that there was no blood or gore in the game. The planks ejected by the mill looked no different from the others.

"What are we going to do?" she asked in a panic, her chest tightening at the realization that she had already let one hostage die.

"I don't know! This was supposed to be your plan!" hissed Pretty Polly, "Can you hit them from here? Maybe we'll get lucky and one of them will fall in the river…"

Singing Laura drew her revolver and looked down the sights for a moment. She had gotten lucky once today, maybe… she sighed and lowered her weapon. "I don't think so… you?"

Pretty Polly shook her head. "Well, at least we know they can't get us either… they'll be sitting ducks if they try to cross that river by jumping on the logs," she reasoned, "If we could only somehow make them try it…"

"Can we unhook that net or something?" Singing Laura asked. Pretty Polly gave her a look that made her feel foolish for asking the question. "Ok… here's what we do then… we'll get their attention and tell them we know where whoever they're looking for is. We'll try to negotiate… or shoot them if they try to charge us. Win-win."

"I guess we have nothing to lose…" Pretty Polly answered doubtfully. She stood up and fired several shots into the air. "Hey! Look over here! We've got something to say!' The two startled Summer Campers flinched and grabbed their weapons. "Ok, you're up," Pretty Polly muttered to Singing Laura.

Singing Laura climbed to her feet. "Ok, um… listen, we know you're looking for s… we know who you're looking for. We can help you, but you have to let all these hostages go!" she announced before taking a step back.

The light-haired girl shot her a look of fury. "Who *are* you?" she demanded, leveling her rifle at the two intruders across the river.

The dark-haired girl's expression was more bemused. "If you have something to say, come over here and say it," she commanded as she walked over to the trees where one of the three remaining hostages other than Bright Sally were anchored. "Better hurry unless you want this one to go for a swim…"

"Listen, you're going to want to hear… wait, come back!" Pretty Polly cried as Singing Laura suddenly took off and tore to the bank of the river. She leaped onto the closest log, waving her arms wildly to keep her balance as she clumsily hopped from log to log, away from the opening of the lumber mill and toward the other bank. She suddenly fell to her hands and knees as the sound of gunfire suddenly split the air.

"You've got our attention you don't need to…!" snapped the light-haired girl, "Wait! That's coming from the town. Dangit, I told you this would happen! We're out of time, let's just do what we came here to do and get back with the others."

The dark-haired girl nodded and sprinted back to Bright Sally to untie the rope holding her up. The hapless little girl fell into the water with a splash, her hands and ankles still bound. She tried to swim to the shore after the retreating Summer Campers, but she was clearly too weak after her torture to get past the morass of floating logs in her way. "Help me!" she cried.

"Hang on, I'm coming!" shouted Singing Laura desperately as she turned towards the girl bobbing up and down in the white water as heavy logs banged and clattered all around. She hopped off the log she was currently standing on, landing firmly on the next one between her and her goal. Singing Laura then ran along the length of this log. "Almost there!" she cried. The closest log to the struggling girl was in sight. Singing Laura took a mighty leap and let her momentum from running carry her forward.

The log rolled under her foot, and she dropped into the water. Before she could scramble back onto the log, she felt another one slam into her from behind, leaving her helplessly pinned between the two heavy tree trunks. "Just save yourself!" cried Bright Sally just out of sight. Singing Laura panicked, not knowing whether to keep trying to save Bright Sally or to swim for the shore, but also not being able to do either. The world suddenly turned dark as she drifted into the shadow of the log mill's gaping maw. The air was a cacophony of buzzing. She twisted her body around to look behind her and only managed to get a brief glimpse of the array of fearsome buzzsaws that awaited her.

She squeezed her eyes shut, and in a moment, everything was quiet.
Last edited by Shotrow 1 year ago, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by GreyLord »

High excitement. Well done.
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

Hey,

Well this chapter got pretty dark. It is almost worse in a world like this, because it is so clinical (no blood and gore as they said), and the world is otherwise pretty whimsical.

Plus ties back to the earlier point with 'people making their own fun'. In this case somewhat sick fun. Wonder if the 'game' creators actively try to prevent this sort of thing, or if it is just sort of shrugged off.

Well, I assume we might be hearing from Singing Laura again, since you said it is much easier for a beginner to come back to life. Of course depending on how much of the experience she actually lived through, perhaps she might not be so eager to return... Or at least might be less eager to throw herself into danger.

Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago Some things are locked down as you put it, but there is still a player-player economy. We saw part of it in the form of Little Jane's place. There's also a big trade in pets, and people make money by breeding and raising them. Some pets produce goods (things like wool, milk, eggs) which can be crafted into other things. There's also some amount of farming going on.

There are also some services that only some players can perform because of either player skill or in-game reasons. Some players are better at training than others, so they might hire out their services. Other services are based on having access to the right facilities. A small town might have only one blacksmith shop, and only one person can lease it at a time, and that person will be the only one who can shoe horses. There's a small risk of players leasing a building and not doing anything with it, but it's a fairly short lease and the price scales with demand, so it's not that big of a problem.

And then there's the black market of inter-game trading, which Little Jane and Smiling Reilly are involved in...
Interesting. So a generally somewhat living economy still. And as you mentioned, where there is an economy, there is a black market...

Makes me think that some people probably choose to try to establish large economic empires in this world. I guess the castle is something like that, although a little different - that seems to be more about collecting a bunch of devoted followers because the Lady seems like a massive narcissist based on what we have seen so far; she is an adult who wants to be the big fish in a small pond of a 'kids game'.
"Just save yourself!" cried Bright Sally just out of site.
Minor typo here; I assume site should be sight? Obviously it does not really matter, the intent of the sentence is fairly clear.
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Post by Shotrow »

[mention]GreyLord[/mention] Thanks much!

[mention]BlissfulMisery[/mention]- It's interesting how that works. It's dark because it represents an escalation of the conflict to a level we haven't seen yet, which was my intention, but on its surface it's just killing someone in a video game, which isn't usually a big deal. It's all so contextual.

Part of the reason it took me a little longer to post this chapter than some of my others is that I wasn't sure how I wanted it to go. Just having them overpower the guards and free the prisoners felt too easy, and I couldn't think of an unexpected way for it to happen. Finally, I figured it was time to fire the Chekov's gun of the death system, and give Singing Laura's heroic journey its trip to the underworld.

As for players who try to establish economic empires, the cantina siblings are kind of meant to represent that mindset.

Thanks for point out the typo. It's fixed now.
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

I mean I did not say it was dark simply because it featured death. As you said, this is a 'video game death', and not even a permanent one, so on the surface it is not so bad.

The reason I said it was 'dark' was because of how it was done. A combination of callousness and being willing to torture the victims first. Plus intentionally trying to circumvent the rules that normally prevent such a thing. Perhaps I am not explaining it well, but what makes it hit harder is the fact that these are teenage (or even younger) children doing such a thing so nonchalantly, as if it were perfectly normal to take pleasure in 'killing' someone, and in this case for honestly pretty silly reasons of what amounts to mere pride.

I do not say any of that as a bad thing. It is perfectly believable. Just sometimes frightening how quickly people can warm up to the idea of being cruel (and the cruelty is the important bit in this case) to others, if given what sometimes seems like the smallest of incentive.

I do like the subversion of the expected outcome - that the plucky, inexperienced but heroic character somehow manages to save the day regardless of everything standing in front of them. Instead, well, what happens is exactly what one might expect to happen realistically. That one's luck eventually runs out when they keep doing foolhardy, even if brave, things.

And you are not wrong about Chekov's gun. That can be a real challenge to avoid in a serial style story that is not perfectly planned out from the start, as plans will naturally change over time as the story evolves, and something that was foreshadowed earlier is no longer relevant.

And certainly perhaps she might come back even more determined after her 'trials'.
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Post by Beaumains »

I agree, it got dark quite quickly. It is nicely written and I love that singing Laura is starting to get braver and turns into a true hero, but I can't say I enjoy reading about tortured girls (minors) as much as just a few tie-ups. It also leaves me wondering what counts as killing someone. If you stab someone, do you kill them, or does the knife kills them? It seems like a hard-to-define metric.

In general, the game is almost like real life, only there is no oversight (police) and death, pain, and the need for a job do not truly exist. If it doesn't turn into an anarchistic, crime-driven world, it would be quite surprising.

Well done! I am waiting for more.

Also, I think it is quite cool that swimming is implemented well in this game. Somehow, it seems that walking and horseback riding seem a lot easier to "feel" while being wet is more complicated.
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Post by Ovi1 »

still going great Shotrow! A tad dark indeed, but a good continuation of the story. It does make me wonder if we'll ever get a light-hearted chatper again. As it seems the more you expand on this universe, the harder it gets to see the game as a nice pastime for most.
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Post by Shotrow »

I still find myself a bit perplexed when I get the "dark" or "dystopian" comments. Not because I don't understand why you guys are seeing the story that way, but more at myself for writing things that way when I continue to see this as overall an escapist fantasy. Makes me wonder if there isn't something psychological going on lol. Anyways, it admittedly has been awhile since the "good guys" got any significant victory, or at least that attention was called to it.

To answer your question @Beaumains, it was established that players can't "kill" each other directly. Only environmental hazards can cause in-game death. I'm not sure if there are knives in this world or not, which is why I had the Summer Campers untie the ropes instead of cutting them in the last chapter. If they exist, they either don't work as weapons at all and just bounce off the skin, or at worse they penetrate without blood and weaken the other player for a period of time, causing no more pain than a flu shot.
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Post by Mineira1986 »

Ah, so many things to comment on this one.

First, I was pretty sure someone was going to die eventually since it was mentioned in the first chapter. I just wasn't expecting a major character to die in this one. It will be interesting to see what kind of quest Singing Laura has to go through in order to return. She'll be more careful next time, for sure.

Second, this falls in the middle of two points. First, it's not real death, it's only a video game death, so it shouldn't hit that hard. But at the same time, it has to be treated seriously (within the story I mean). Otherwise, there are no big stakes and video game death will be treated as just a minor inconvenient or set back. So I think it's between those two right now and that's a good thing.

Third, it feels a bit dark and dystopian so far. The dystopian part is that both the real world and the video game world are heavily related and, as far as we've seen, regulated by one company that gives away rewards. You complete missions in the real world and you can get things in the video game world. It also seems that there isn't an option of just go to sleep and not play. Like, Sweet Becky could've chosen not to log in for the next days, go to sleep on the couch and avoid all the torture at Fort Mallow. It really feels these teens don't have that option and are forced to play.

This brings the other issue. There's cruelty in the players. Not to the point of stealing pets to each other, but of killing each other, and forcing them to go to quests to recover their character (remember that they are forced to play). This wasn't just an environmental hazard. It was a saw mill. Some player must have build it (meaning the game allows in some way that players build things in order to kill other players) or it was already built in the game, which means the game creators deliberately build a way to kill players.

It's not bad and I actually like that approach because it adds much more depth to the story. It does complicate it though since it's shown that the Summer Campers (and other players) can kill people in the game and, which is darker, kind of enjoy doing so. So the readers will wonder why a game allows such things, if the intention is that the girls just have fun (the creators could remove certain features from the game if players exploit it in a mean way, but it doesn't seem they will intervene), and readers will expect that future chapters tackle this question.

So, keep it up! This is a great story.
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Post by BlissfulMisery »

Shotrow wrote: 1 year ago I still find myself a bit perplexed when I get the "dark" or "dystopian" comments. Not because I don't understand why you guys are seeing the story that way, but more at myself for writing things that way when I continue to see this as overall an escapist fantasy. Makes me wonder if there isn't something psychological going on lol.
I think it has more to do with the fact that this is a non-consensual TUGs story. Which by it's basic nature implies at least some malice (or at least having fun at the expense of another person), at which point the behavior has to be justified/consistent, and so that leads to characters 'not acting very nice' in general. So I think you are probably being too hard on yourself. What you are trying to write sort of funnels things in this general direction no matter what, especially since the basic trend/structure of a story is to escalate the action/danger/tension over time (well, at least until the story starts resolving/wrapping things up).

As for the whole part about killing and knives... I feel like that is rabbit hole that can go quite deep. If you argue that the knives cannot kill, then what about the charm shooters? Does pistol-whipping or hitting someone with the stock hurt someone? And if you say that nobody can hurt each other at all by hitting them, then how does restraining someone work; you would still have to be able to hold someone in a specific position to restrain them, and obviously there are plenty of ways to 'hold' someone's body that would cause damage/pain.

Not saying any of that as a critique, just perhaps saying that it might be better to not think about it too hard.

And [mention]Mineria1986[/mention] echoes my earlier thoughts on what the designers of the game actually intend/bother doing. It seems there are a lot of loopholes, and nobody seems to care all that much about plugging them, which is strange considering how regulated the rest of society is. Obviously it was mentioned that the purpose of the 'game' is to give people more breathing room, so some disorder is encouraged, but perhaps that might be going a little far...

Ultimately however I have to agree with the point that it is not a determent to the story; if the game world was so 'locked down' that basically nothing could happen, well, the story would probably not be as interesting, as what could happen would be so limited it would quickly become entirely predictable.
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Post by Beaumains »

The reason I think it is dark is that people are forced in a lawless world, where everyone can tie up anyone and kill, torture and capture people directly and indirectly for some. There is no oversight, no safe place, and no way to break out. And this is 'just' the horse game. I cannot imagine what other, more mature games look like. Maybe you see these events as exceptions, that whatever happens to the main cast is merely for plot purposes and make things interesting, because if that's the usual life, it is hell. It is like the The Purge, but all the time. Then there's no way I would step outside often, knowing any bored person can do whatever they want.
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Post by Shotrow »

I think [mention]BlissfulMisery[/mention] hit the nail on the head. It is a non-consensual tie-up story, so some cruelty is to be expected. What confuses me is that there are plenty of non-consensual stories on this site, including ones I've written myself, where people are even more cruel with far more serious consequences for the victims, and people don't consider them dark. I also think back to the cartoons I saw growing up. The Simpsons showed bullies injuring or humiliating the boys for no reason with no consequences. I find that pretty disturbing, but everyone else tells me it's funny and not disturbing.

Yes, there are differences between these examples and my stories, but they all seem pretty arbitrary. It just bothers me that the "rules" seem so inconsistent at times, like empathy is something that can be turned off like a switch for very superficial reasons. I thought the fact that the sawmill was a classic "damsel" trope would make it come across as more silly and fun, but I apparently miscalculated.

But, it is a fair question to ask why this stuff is permitted in the game world, and it is a fair observation that we haven't seen any evidence that the game creators care about the rampant rule abuse going on. I'm not sure if I can completely answer that in a satisfying way, but there's a few things to note.

First, invading a town like the Summer Campers did is uncommon. It was not only unexpected, it was stupid. The only way a gang can survive is by carefully rotating who does the "bad" things so that only a portion of their members are in jail at any given time. They've just racked up massive bounties with long jail terms for most of their members, and gained almost in return. It was a desperation move to re-establish themselves as a threat after their humiliating defeat, and it remains to be seen if it's accomplished anything other than making them a whole lot of new enemies.

Second, there might a reason some players are able to get away with things others can't that might become more of a plot point later.

Third, the chaos and mayhem is part of the point. Unlike some other fictional -topias, Polaris doesn't have the luxury of existing in a bubble. They're a part of the world, and interact with other less-organized societies, and migration between them is common. Polaris can't afford let people grow complacent and dependent on the system, which is fragile and limited in reach. Free Play is a way to train the citizenry to operate in a more chaotic environment, which much of the world is. It's also a social laboratory that allows both researchers and ordinary people to observe the evolution of societies, and gather data to improve their own and form a better appreciation of the order that characterizes it.

Anyways, there's still more cruelty and setbacks to come in the next few chapters, but things might be turning around for our protagonists soon. :3 I really appreciate you all reading and commenting, and I hope you'll enjoy what I have planned from here. :)
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Post by Beaumains »

The main difference with this story and all those other non-consensual stories are that either these other stories most often are a) entirely irrational and unbelievable or b) focus on a single or few random victims.

The first case is not really dark because the reader is immersed. It is just a (often shitty) fantasy which would collapse with a moment's thought. Sure, the main character suffers, it is cruel, and it would be a horrific state of affairs, but it is so unrealistic one does not care about the characters the slightest. These stories are also often painted as literal hell for all but the ruling class, and any sense of light at the end of the tunnel is missing. From the start, we get a plethora of superlatives to explain the hopelessness.

In the second case, the reader often assumes it is just a bad apple. On the news, crime passes by almost non-stop and although being cruel, it is not unrealistic. It may happen, especially if the bad guy is evil and it may be dark, but it is not something I would call dark. It is just the current state of affairs. It is not dystopian. The sole stories of this nature I would call dark is when the story shows deeper layers of systematic problems. For example, large amounts of corruption enabling said non-consensual behavior. Otherwise, it is just a few people hurting a few people: Creepy, but nothing we have not seen before.

What I mean with dark, is that it deals with many people at the same time, being forced into a cruel game. It has enough humanity to feel real, but it is so far detached from our current reality that we can only imagine the consequences. At first, it seems great, but it turns around. There is a dark side which slowly unfolds. A fantasy world turns out to have very dark corners, which makes the reader question whether it is a fantasy or a hellhole. This makes the story dark.
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Post by Shotrow »

Like I said, I'm not comfortable with the idea that empathy is supposed to be conditional on differences that seem fairly arbitrary to me. If anything, I feel more sorry for someone who's alone in their suffering than someone who's at least surrounded by people who can relate to them.
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