Page 2 of 2

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2023 12:02 pm
by KidnappedCowboy
You're doing fine. Off to a good start. I'm only into M/M stories, so I like what you are doing with the escaped convict and Hal and how Hal is very protective of his stepson.

Write what you think makes a story compelling. Keep it real. Give complexity to your characters.

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2023 3:43 pm
by Pleasurechip95
Thanks so much! I prefer to write or read F/M or M/M. I'm a big fan of the characters in this so thank you! And thanks for the advice. Hopefully, you find them compelling ❤️😊

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2023 4:18 pm
by Bootmark
Great job. I’m enjoying the story!

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2023 9:18 pm
by Pleasurechip95
Bootmark wrote: 9 months ago Great job. I’m enjoying the story!
Thanks so much! I'll try to update soon ❤️

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Mon Jul 31, 2023 9:38 pm
by Pleasurechip95
KidnappedCowboy wrote: 9 months ago You're doing fine. Off to a good start. I'm only into M/M stories, so I like what you are doing with the escaped convict and Hal and how Hal is very protective of his stepson.

Write what you think makes a story compelling. Keep it real. Give complexity to your characters.
Thanks so much! I prefer to write or read F/M or M/M. I'm a big fan of the characters in this so thank you! And thanks for the advice. Hopefully, you find them compelling ❤️😊

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 3:19 am
by Pleasurechip95
“Mmphh!”

A muffled shriek slipped past the gag as Riley found himself jerked non too gently into a sitting position. He blinked a few times as the blindfold was pulled from his eyes. Cade smirked down at the boy before adding, “Morning. Sleep well?”

Riley merely stared at the man who sighed. The rope around his wrists and ankles were removed before Cade left the boy to peel away the layers of tape around his mouth. Riley spat the bandana out as he watched the man staring back at him from the chair closet to the door.

Judging by the sound of water running, Hal was in the bathroom. Cade fixed the boy with a smile. Riley then noticed Cade had Hal’s phone in his hand. Cade smirked to himself as he scrolled through the pictures in Hal’s phone. Planes, cars, guns, a dog, hunting trips, fishing trips, his kid, and his wife were all the man had stored in his gallery with the exception of a black and white picture of a curled up fetus.

“What’s the dog’s name?” Cade asked.

“Waffles.”

“Hmm… My dad never let me have a dog… He used to hit me… A lot… One time he hit me in the face with a broken beer bottle. It left a scar. Your daddy ever hit you?”

Riley’s eyes widened as he shook his head rapidly. He instantly scooted back on the bed as Cade crossed the room to leer down at the boy. With a wicked smirk, Cade whispered, “Bet he’d beat you if I told him too… Bet he’d even kill you for his real kid.”

The bathroom door opened just as Riley squeezed his eyes shut the moment Cade grasped his chin. Hal crossed the room in record time as Cade yanked Riley up by his arm. With a flick of the wrist, a knife was at the boy’s throat. Hal halted in his tracks as his eyes flickered from his kid to the rifle leaning against the wall.

“Don’t even think about it,” Cade warned as Riley whimpered, “D-dad.”

Hal pursed his lips before grunting, “Alright. You made your point.”

Cade smirked before dragging his hostage over to the gun. Reclaiming the weapon, Cade relinquished his grip on the boy, who immediately ran towards his father. Cupping the boy’s cheek, Hal swiped his thumb across to catch a stray tear before muttering, “He hurt you?”

Riley’s bottom lip trembled as he muttered, “Would you ever hit me?”

“No, kiddo. Never.”

Shooting a glance back at Cade, Riley swallowed before Hal pushed him in the direction of the bathroom. The door shut behind the boy as Hal fixed Cade with most intensifying death glare the man had ever seen.

“What the fuck did you do to my kid?”

“Nothing. Just reminding him who’s in charge… So, how’d you meet your darling wife?”

Hal shook his head before crossing his arms, which probably would’ve been more intimidating if it weren’t for the tank top and boxer briefs, he was still in. “I am not playing your games right now.”

Cade sighed as he added, “Fine… I laid out your clothes for you.”

Hal glanced over at the tight jeans and Henley that were both definitely a size smaller than what he wore with disgust. Cade smirked before adding,
“I could’ve picked skinny jeans, Daddy.”

“Fuck you.”

“Don’t give me ideas. I am a married man.”

Hal was cursing up a storm the entire time as he hopped to get into the tight jeans and shirt. By the time Riley had come out of the bathroom everything had been packed up. Riley was practically glued to Hal’s side. Cade offered the two a couple of breakfast sandwiches before devouring a couple himself. He then took a seat on the bed across from them.

“So, when’s the baby due?” Cade commented.

Hal sent the man a wicked glare as Riley gasped, “W-what?”

Gripping Riley’s shoulder, Hal answered, “Your mother and I were going to tell you when we got back-”

“They weren’t, kid. You know you’re being replaced. What kind of man would love a kid that ain’t his?”

“Riley is mine, you sonofabitch! I adopted him!” Hal snarled, climbing to his feet.

Cade merely raised an eyebrow before looking at the kid. “I think Daddy’s lost his talking privileges for the day, don’t you? He’s forgotten what an inside voice sounds like.”

.

Hal was practically fuming. Riley sat in the backseat beside the criminal with Hal at the wheel. He was made to keep his lips closed over a bandana or else. Riley would shoot him a concerned glance every so often via the rearview mirror as Cade attempted to make small talk with the boy.

Riley just looked so overstimulated as Cade continued, “Tell me about your real daddy.”

Glancing into the mirror, Riley muttered, “He is my real dad.”

Cade looked pretty annoyed that neither were willing to play his mind games. So, he tried a different approach, “And does he love you? Is he proud of you?”

“Y-yes.”

“Really? I see all these pictures in his phone that show everything he likes you and nothing you like. I see Mommy posting all these pictures of you in the marching band and drawing and all sorts of stuff that Daddy hates… Bet he hates that. Hates it so much he had to make another and-”

Hal had heard enough as he spat out the cloth and barked, “Leave him alone!”

Riley wasn’t sure which one was glaring more before he was yanked closer to Cade. A muffled cry escaped his lips as a knotted bandana filled his lips before the strands were tied tightly at his nape. Zipties pinned his wrists and elbows together before he was shoved down onto the seat.

“Mmmmm,” Riley whimpered, flailing against the tight restraints.

“Daddy should’ve kept the gag in. Guess I’m right. He doesn’t love you,” Cade taunted before looking at Hal. “Take a left here. You get to meet my better half.”

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2023 9:00 pm
by dhaversion1
Can't wait to see what happens next

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2023 3:17 am
by Pleasurechip95
dhaversion1 wrote: 9 months ago Can't wait to see what happens next
I'll try to update soon ❤️

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2023 12:33 pm
by Xtc
Take your time. Post when you are happy.

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2023 2:01 am
by Pleasurechip95
Xtc wrote: 9 months ago Take your time. Post when you are happy.
Definitely the best advice. Grad school has me struggling

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2023 2:11 am
by Pleasurechip95
There was an update here but now it's gone for remodeling due to being potentially too much. However, you may find it on deviantart if you so desire.

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2023 11:01 am
by Red86
Dang, ain't no wonder Cade was in prison, he's got some major anger issues on top of bring a murder.

Atleast he came to his senses and didn't harm Hal to seriously. But yeah, Riley very well could need therapy after this. Really who wouldn't after something like this?

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2023 12:37 pm
by Pleasurechip95
Red86 wrote: 9 months ago Dang, ain't no wonder Cade was in prison, he's got some major anger issues on top of bring a murder.

Atleast he came to his senses and didn't harm Hal to seriously. But yeah, Riley very well could need therapy after this. Really who wouldn't after something like this?
Cade is definitely something all right. He snapped in the worst way possible. Poor Hal and Riley. I'm so awful too them. I'll definitely tone it back.

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2023 8:14 pm
by Bradboi
Such an awesome story can’t wait to keep reading!

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 2:41 pm
by KidnappedCowboy
I'm glad you are reworking the chapter. It was too dark.

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2023 1:28 am
by Pleasurechip95
Bradboi wrote: 9 months ago Such an awesome story can’t wait to keep reading!
Thank you! I will update..... eventually 🙃

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2023 1:29 am
by Pleasurechip95
KidnappedCowboy wrote: 9 months ago I'm glad you are reworking the chapter. It was too dark.
Yeah.... I'll leave my darkness to my deviantart and AO3 🙃 I'll try to have an update soon

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2023 6:20 am
by harveygasson
Such a great story, loving it so far

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2023 11:47 am
by Socklover2.0
Pleasurechip95 wrote: 8 months ago
KidnappedCowboy wrote: 9 months ago I'm glad you are reworking the chapter. It was too dark.
Yeah.... I'll leave my darkness to my deviantart and AO3 🙃 I'll try to have an update soon
What’s your deviantart?

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2023 12:53 am
by Pleasurechip95
Socklover2.0 wrote: 8 months ago
Pleasurechip95 wrote: 8 months ago
KidnappedCowboy wrote: 9 months ago I'm glad you are reworking the chapter. It was too dark.
Yeah.... I'll leave my darkness to my deviantart and AO3 🙃 I'll try to have an update soon
What’s your deviantart?
My darker stories will be on here so enjoy 😊
https://www.deviantart.com/pleasurechip

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2023 12:55 am
by Pleasurechip95
harveygasson wrote: 8 months ago Such a great story, loving it so far
Thanks so much ❤️

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Sat Feb 24, 2024 2:06 pm
by iranian_men_gagged
It is a very beautiful story, I hope it continues...

Re: Don’t Tell Mom the Camping Trip Went Wrong (M/Mm)

Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2024 4:21 am
by Pleasurechip95
iranian_men_gagged wrote: 2 months ago It is a very beautiful story, I hope it continues...
Thank you! I really do need to find the motivation to update this 😩