Zorro : 01 - Ninja Turtles and other short stories (mostly m/f, m+/f)

[Canuck100]

Zorro's stories
01 - Ninja Turtles and other short stories
Story index at the bottom

By Zorro

Wed May 12 11:16:20 1999

This story takes place in the early 90's, when the Ninja Turtles were cool. Laugh if you wish, but most boys in my school liked them then.

I was but a wee lad of 11, and was with my my four friends (yes, it's shocking...that a jerk like me has friends). And, in a public park on a warm Staurday afternoon, we pretended to be our heroes. My friends' names are Jane, Mike, Joe, and Chris. (I used present tense 'cause they still talk to me).

The parts: Jane was always April O'Neil, because...well...she was a girl. Mike was always the Shedder, 'cause he liked capes (don't ask). Joe was Leonardo, Chris was Mikelangelo, and I was Casy Jones (he wore a hockey mask and smashed stuff). We would pretend to battle each other, never really hurting each other; we were friends. However, I would like to tell the tale like a movie, using our parts, rather than names. All real action will be shown like ::this::.

All violence was fake and a lot of fun.

::We were at the park, with our "stuff". Jane had her camera, Joe and Chris had their headbands, I had a "Jason " mask, and Mike wore a black "Batman" cape and football helmet. Crude, but hey, it was fun::

The Shedder was in his secret lair ::between four trees::, ranting and raving about how he was going to take over the world for the 20th time. However, he was unaware that he was being watched by reporter April O'Neil, who was recording each evil word. As the vile ninja master lets out a horrible, booming laugh, April attempts to leave, but is spotted.

"April! What're you doing here!" Shedder growls.

"Getting outta here!" was her reply as she ran.

"Never! HA! HA! HAAAA!" Shedder hissed as he draws his ray gun ::water pistol::, and fires a paralizer ray at her, stopping her dead in her tracks. He grabs April's arm.

"You're coming with me!" he says in sinister glee. "When your friends come to rescue you, I'll destroy them!"

The Shedder drags April to a pole and pulls out a 15 feet length of rope, and ties her wrists behind her. He then draws a 25 foot rope and wraps it around her body, pinning her to the pole. A strip of white surgical tape is placed over her lips. The Shedder steps back and snickers in glee. the trap is now set.

Cut to the sewers ::under a big slide::. Leonardo , Mikelangelo and Casy Jones (yayy!) sit together, eating pizza and watching TV.

" I'm bored, " Mikelangelo sighs. "Where's April, anyway?"

Casy shrugs. Leonardo stands suddenly. "Shedder might have gotten her!" he exclaims.

"Makes sense," Casy adds, making a fist. "We'd better go save her!"

"Lemme finish my pizza!" Mikelangelo whines.

Casy and Leonardo yank the mutant turtle off his feet, and they make a beline for the Shedder's lair.

::We'd broken into Mike's lair so many times, we didn't bother to act out how we knew. It became generic.::

The three heroes peek through the "window". They see April, her strawberry blonde hair messed up, bound to a pole and gagged. The Shedder holds his deadly ray gun, laying in wait.

"We need a plan," Mikelangelo whispers.

"We sneek in. I'll save April while you two hold off Shed," Casy responds.

"Hey! I'm the leader here!" Leonardo gripes. "And...I like your plan. let's go."

Slipping in like shadows, they hide behind a "crate", ready to abush the villain. Ready...
Shedder turns and faces them suddenly, ray gun in hand. "Now you die!," he bellows as April lets out a "mmph!"

Before the Turtles can act out the plan, Shedder fires the paralizer ray, hitting Mikelangelo.

"Damn!" the turtle statue shouts. "Help!"

Leonardo dashes over to his fellow turtle, trying to shake him out of it. Casy tries to get to April, but Shedder blocks his path. Casy smacks the gun away. Shedder growls and puts up his dukes.

He "hits" Casy in the jaw, sending him backward. Casy "punches" Shedder in the nose, stunning him. However, Casy falls from Shedder's savage "gut kick".
He laughs in triumph over Casy. Casy "hits" Shedder in the groin, and he backs off, reclaiming his gun. He aims at Casy.....
Leonardo and Mikelangelo ram into Shedder, knocking him down. He appears K.O.'d.

Casy rips the tape from April's lips. "OW!" she cries. Leonardo uses his knife :: to cut the ropes from her body and feet.
Shedder rises. "Damn you! You haven't seen the last of me!" he screams as he turns to run.

Casy grabs the ray gun, sets it to "kill", and hits Shedder in the back. The villain falls, forever.

With Shedder beaten, the four heroes go home, awaiting another adventure ::we went home::

THE END.

Technically, we had to debate the whole "set ray to kill" thing...Mike was outvoted. But, it was no sweat. We'd "killed" him 5 times before, and 7 times after.
I chose this tale because this was the only time Jane was gagged with tape. Wow.

See? Wasn't that a decent story? Now please, get off my case. There's more where this came from....

'Caio.


Sat Apr 17 12:50:29 1999

I've got a quickie for ya. I call it.....CHAIN TIE.

I was hanging out with my pals on campus when this annoying kid named Mitch shows up. Now, in my school, just about every goth-punk wears black and carries a chain. holding a long, skinny chain, Mitch goes up to my pal Mike's current girlfriend (a girl named Noah), and takes her hands.

Then, he quickly binds them in front of her with the chain! Man, did that make my day! She didn't really protest, just found it annoying. Mike, on the other hand, wanted to kill Mitch. Noah struggled for five minutes until she got loose. Mitch came back later for the chain, when Mike had cooled off. This happened two days ago.

Well, that's it. Now I'm off to beat kids in video games and laugh at our two village nuts (I'm a close third): the guy named Bob who wears shorts all year long, and the bum at the train station who thinks he's Elvis (really!). 'Ciao.

Another free plug: Rent any movie starring Andrew Dice Clay. They rule!


APRIL FOOL'S

A year ago, I went to my then girfriend's house on April 1st. Her name was Sharon; she had blode hair and a kickin' bod. Anyway, I went through the door, 'cause it was open (odd, huh). Right in the living room was Sharon, sitting in a chair with her hands and feet bound with clothesline, with a stip of duct tape over her lips. I stared at her in disbelief.

"This is a robbery!" a voice said."Put yer hands up an' gimme all yer money!"

I turned, and saw a man in black wearing a ski mask, pointing a gun at me. My first reaction was shock and fear. I froze.

"Gimme yer money! Now!" he demanded.

Then, I got pissed. Still in shock, I tackled the guy. Sharon mumbled in surprise.

"Ow! Ow! Hey, it's me!" he said in a familar voice. I took off the mask.

It was Joe, my buddy. Turns out the whole thing was a joke. Sharon laughed under the gag. Chris videotaped the whole thing. We untied her, I put Joe in a sleeper-hold for 10 minutes, and we hung out for the rest of the day.

THE END. 'Ciao.

__________________________________________________________________________
Zorro's stories

• 01 - Ninja Turtles and other short stories (m/f)
• 02 - Zorro's College Adventure (?/f)
• 03 - Return of the Girl I went to the Movies with Once! (mmm/f)
• 04 - Zorro meets the Indians (m+f/f)
• 05 - College Halloween Party (M+F+/FFF)
• 06 - Mike's Bratty Lil' Sister (mm/f)
• 07 - The Return of Mike's Little Sisters, or, Dealing with the Annoying Twosome! (MM/ff)
• 08 - What you have to do to get into Ultimo's (M+F+/F) (in Adults Archive)

__________________________________________________________________________
Index of all stories in the "Archive for Everyone" section

[Canuck100]

Sun May 23 13:18:19 1999

Onto today's tale....THE FAVOR (pt1)

My ex-girlfriend Sharon (see my earlier posts) had this reall cute red-head friend named Laura. I only spoken to her a grand total of twice when one day after school she approached me and offered to walk home with me. Since she was cute and a friend, I nodded. We chatted about the usual casual teenage crap until....

"I heard you like seein' girls tied up," she said out of nowhere.

I just looked at her; my brain was doing flip-flops....kinda like when someone says to Clark Kent "Hey, you're Superman!"

A voice in my head (one of many) said "answer her." So I nodded, with a weak smirk.

I expected her to scream "PERV!"

However, she said, "Cool. I....kinda have a favor to ask of you."

"Do tell," I replied.

"My boyfriend max is a real jerk," she began." Anyway, on Saturday, I wanna play a prank on him...I'll tell him to come to my house at a certain time, and I wanna make it look like I was robbed. So, I'll have to be tied up."

I just stared at Laura in disbelief. "Um.....okay."

Come at 'round eleven," she responded.

After that, we went back to casual conversation crap, but she did most of the talking. I was too shellshocked.....and excited.

Saturday finally came. I went to her house with a duffel bag of "stuff". Laura greeted me at the door. Twenty minutes were spent messing up her lovely house, and hiding her cash. That was fun, but more was yet to come.

She went to her big bed and asked me what was in the "bag o' mystery".

"Rope and duct tape," I began. "Choose. Rope my be uncomfortable for a while, but easier to remove. Duct tape may look more realistic. Either way, you'll be gagged with tape. Choose."

Now she was shell-shocked. She'd witnessed me in "full bondage creep" mode. She thought.

"Duct tape," was her answer.

I took out a big roll of grey duct tape from the bag and held it out. Laura watched and waited for several seconds.

"Um, you'll have to put yer hands behind you," I squeeked out.

She nodded and placed her hands behind her. I wrapped the tape around her wrists at least 20 times. Then I wrapped it over her arms and body, under her breasts. I then wrapped the tape 'round her ankles and knees about 20 times. I almost finished the roll. I held out a 6 inch strip as a gag.

"Gag?" she pondered.

"Yeah," I replied. "A burgler wouldn't wnat you to scream. Duh!"

She nodded. "Now, you swear not to tell Max 'bout this, right?" I asked, concerned.

Max was a big 6' 1'' guy with big muscles. He played football and wrestled in the streets. I was a good fighter and all ( 8 wins, 2 losses), but he'd snap me like a twig.

She nodded. So, I placed the tape over her lips, pressing on it to help it hold. I know that isn't the best gag, but it looks cool and what would Max know about bondage?

Laura stuggled. I'd taped her up well; her bonds held. She snickered. She hobbled over to her bed and laid down on it. I let myself out. Max was supposed to show up in 10 minutes, and I saw him four blocks away after I left.

The reason it took so long was that I took polariods of Laura after I tied her up. She never knew about them. They came out great....

Next time I saw Laura a week later, she thanked me witha kiss on the cheek, telling me that the prank worked on Max. I told her I'd never forget it.

The next day, I bumped into Max in the school hallway. He grabbed me and yanked me three inches off my feet.

"You tied up Laura, RIGHT!!?" he bellowed.

I was freaked. Who told? How'd he know..?

All I could do was nod, and expect a punch...

"Cool!" Max said, grinning and putting me down. "She never let me tie her up! How'd you do it?"

Still nervous, I replied," Well, she kinda asked."

"Whoa!" was his response. "Got any pictures?"

I grinned. "You bet!"

He pulled out a $5 bill. "Can I get one?"

I said yes. Seconds ago I expected an ass whupping for what I did, and instead I profitted from it... Life's funny, huh?

THE END

Note: those pics are no longer for sale for anything less than $200 bucks. Hey, I gotta make a living, right?

[Canuck100]

Sat May 08 12:29:14 1999

Hallway Surprise

About a year ago, I was in this printing class in school and it was boring the hell out of me that day, I think a Thursday. So, I asked to go to the bathroom so I could get the heck out of there for a few minutes and kill time. Haven't we all done that once?

Anyhoo, I took a leak and was on my way back when I heard a sound from the locker bay to my right that caught my attention. Actually, a whole lot of sounds. I turn...
I see a guy with a hook who screams,"DIE! I know what you did last summer...Oh, wait, you ain't Jennifer Love-Hewitt....All you did last summer was read comics and @#$% off. Later."

Kidding....heh, heh....sorry.

What I REALLY saw was a girl with scotch tape wrapped around her body from her shoulders to hips, pinning her arms to her sides. 3 guys were doing the tieing, while 5 others cheered them on.

"Get her mouth!" one dared.

They wrapped the tape around her head 3 times. Mumbling in protest, she finally wiggled free from their grip and made a break for it, rinning down the hall and around the corner. They gave chase.

That's when I went back to class. A dumb move, yes, but she wasn't my type, I don't care much for mummifications, and I didn't want others to know that I'm a perv.

Anyway, I got a real rise out of it.

THE END.

I must leave for now. Like Superman and Star Wars, I shall return. 'Ciao.

[Canuck100]

Fri May 14 13:33:26 1999

THE DARE

About last week I was at my friends Matt's house after school. He's this sophmore that I know. Anyhoo, my friends Mike, Tom, Brian and Rob were also there. Matt's 19 year old sister was in her room, napping after a long day at work, he said.

We spent an hour watching MTV (gack!), then talked about comics and other crap. Now, I'll be honest for once....I'm a real comics geek. But, considering I've had five girlfriends in my life, it doesn't get to me. Take that!

Anyway, that led to a game of truth or dare. After a half hour, Matt had ended up mooning the old lady next store, Brain drank from the toilet and we found out that Mike liked some girl with glasses who smelled like fish.

Then came my eventual dare. Matt thought hard, which probably was a first for him.

"I want you to take my dad's duct tape downtairs and tie up my sister," he piped in.

For the record, the penalty for not doing a dare was a PILE-ON. For those who're newbies or having trouble with English, that's when everybody just jumps on you. Take it right, it knocks the wind out of you.....take it wrong, ya might break something.

His dare shocked everyone, even me; Matt was a real goodie-good....he never cuts class, for crying out loud. Plus, no one knows I like bondage; that secret's tucked away in the Zorro-Cave.

"You're on!" I said as I gleefully got the tape.

You can see where this is leadin', right?

TO BE CONTINUED....

Tue May 18 16:21:49 1999

In our last episode, my buddy Matt had dared me to tie up his napping sister with duct tape during a round of Truth or Dare. I accepted, 'cause there'd be no story if I didn't! Duh!

THE DARE (pt2)

His sister's name is Janice, she's 19 and works at this unknown job. There she was in a t-shirt and jeans, snoring soundy. She's the only person who didn't snore like a rhino to me. Weird. Since she was laying on her back, I went for the ankles first.

I wrapped the tape around her ankles about 10 times very gently. She barely stirred. So, I tore a six inch strip and placed it over her lips. She started to awaken, so I had to move fast or I'd lose the dare, get my ass kicked by her, and then the pile-on.

I hopped onto the bed and flipped her onto her stomach while she was still groggy. I out her hand s behind her back and wrapped almost the rest of the roll around her wrists. By now she was mumbling like crazy. The others were watching in ernest. She really thrashed about like mad; a REAL turn on. She has brown hair and a great figure.

Matt took photos with a poleroid and we left her their while we went to the living room to watch TV. We could hear her muffling like mad.

Then, I guess she got free because a half hour later, she grabbed me from behind, hit me in the balls and tackled Matt, cursing like a loaded Popeye. Boy, did it hurt...I was sucking wind. But, it was worth it.

THE END

Just so I'm not thought of as a wuss, I coulda beaten her, but I can't hit a girl unless she's LITERALLY killing me. It's called chivalry. Besides, I probably deseaved it. Well, I figured it'd please some folks to hear that.

I must leave. But, like dadruff and "Unsolved Mysteries", I shall return! 'Ciao.

[Canuck100]

Sun May 30 15:16:07 1999

A WALK IN THE PARK

It was yesterday (a 90 frickin' degree Saturday) and I was walking through a local park, just drifting around, killing time. I was finishing a cup of coffe I'd just bought.

Yes, I know that I'm still a teenager, but I like coffe sometimes. And just for the record, because some moron would ask, I like my coffe like a REAL man, black. Want sugar? Get a soda. Want cream? Squeeze a cow.

Anyway, I was pasing by these four boys wearing t-shirts and shorts, all probably under 12. They were dragging this girl of similar age to a flagpole, hooting excitedly. One kid had rope, and two others had super-soakers, so I saw where this was going.

Last rant, promise. I hate super-soakers. They cost a gajillian bucks and they just make better ones each summer, making the one you bought last year for 30 bucks worthless. I stick with water balloons, and I can out soak any punk anytime. Bite me.

Back to the story. They tied her hands behind the pole, and wrapped the rope around her body. It was long; like 100 feet! They them drenched her for a half hour, as she screamed. Finally, I was bored, so I said that they couldn't soak me because I wasn't tied up. They dared me, so I got out my water balloons, and sent'em cryin' to mommy 2 hours later.

I untied the girl, and I was thanked by her older, and very good looking sister.

THE END.

I'm done. Like the Terminater, "Ah'll be back."

'Ciao.

Zorro

[Canuck100]

Wed Jun 09 12:28:28 1999

HOME MOVIES

My friend Matt likes to make movies with his dad's video cam that he got a year back. He's made four movies so far, all concerning crime and action, dispite crappy special effects (what do ya expect from a 16 year old?). He was planning his next crime drama, and asked me to be in one for once.

I was to play the part of Ed Farlane, P.I. Matt asked me because I'm a fairly decent actor and can fake being punched or shot well. I was to do most of the "fighting" in the flick, but it was a supporting role. My friend Rob was the star (as himself, namewise).

Matt's directing style is like this: He tells you what the scene is about, gives you about 2-6 lines that you have to say, and let's you ad-lib the rest. If it's a fight scene, he gives you the finishing move that has to be done eventually. It releaves pressure, but usually some idiot will laugh and blow the whole god damn scene.

Basic plot: Rob's girlfriend Marina (his actual girlfriend who I kinda like) is kidnapped by some dude in a ski-mask named Gus who works for a mob boss named Death (who wears a "Jason" mask). Then Rob hires a P.I. (me) and they track down the bad guys and kick their asses. I know it's like an episode of "Nash Bridges" or "Hunter", but I didn't write it.

One problem: My pal Mike, who plays "Gus" can't tie up a girl for personal reasons. I don't mind tyin' up chicks. Bingo! Now you folks see where this story is goin'.
Mike has the same build, hair color and eyes as me. So, I play "Gus" for the kidnap scene, then he plays out the role.

The day came for filming, and I was ready. I wore black duds and a ski-mask, and held a role of duct tape. I was to "ambush" Marina in the kitchen, and drag her to the bedroom to tie her up.

For the record: Marina is 16 years old, and has brown hair and glasses. She wore a white t-shirt and blue jeans.

As Matt filmed, she puttered around the kitchen, drinking a glass of water. That's when I jumped her and dragged her to the bedroom, gagging her with my hand.
As I ungagged her to wrap the tape around her ankles, she was pleading for me to "let her go".

I then wrapped her wrists togather behind her back, and placed a strip of tape over her lips. She made these great mumbling sounds. I then had to carry her off, which was real hard. She weighs 125 lbs. and I can barely lift my own weight (170).

That was the only scene that was done in one take. I was sweatin' like Grandma racing a snail and nearly giggled when she said her "Let me go" line. That always kills me. "Let me go." Like the evil villain is gonna have a change of heart and say "Yeah, sure! I was only foolin'."

THE END.

Now, let's hear some more good stories!

[Canuck100]

Fri Jun 18 12:54:40 1999

THE KARATE TIE-UP

A few years back, I went to a karate class for about two and a half weeks. There I met this girl named Sophie, this natural blonde (one of only six living on Earth) who was a green belt and my friend and rival. I thought about asking her out: she was really cute, but she was too much of a tomboy. She wanted to outdo me at everything.

Now, I know what you're thinkin'. No, I didn't exactly FAIL karate, it's just that kicking really isn't my thing. I punch and knee a lot. I'd make a better boxer than martial artist. That, and I thought that learning all the forms and patterns was too slow; just teach the moves. Besides, I could already beat most of the low ranking students anyway.

Except Sophie.

One day (one of my last) at karate, Sophie made an interesting bet; whoever could beat the other could tie them up with the belts. Those belts are actually good tying devices. I didn't want to, but a few well placed insults to my huge ego from her got me to do it. Standing on the big blue mat and with all the other students watching, we squared off.

For the record: in sparring, you beat you opponent by knocking them to the ground or throwing them off the mat.

This may seem easy for you, but anyone who knows me knows I CANNOT HIT A GIRL. I can't hit, shove, or throw a girl. It's chivalry to the 900th power. I can't bring myself to hit a girl unless she's LIERALLY killing me.

Here's the deal: I'm a boxer, so I mostly punch. She's a green-belt in Tai Kwon Do, so she mostly kicks. Are you interested yet!?

Sophie deals a barrage of kicks to my chest, face and stomach. I block most of them, 'cept for a few to the ribs. Although she isn't as strong as me, it still stung.

She contiued her kick onslaught, and I contiued my "Rocky" impession, only I actually blocked. She was usually nailing me with 1 out of every 8 kicks, and I couldn't bring myself to fight back. If only she wasn't so cute....

I began to actually think about the situation. This match had been going on for about 7 minutes and all the students were watching, so I couldn't lose. I realized that whenever she hit me in a certain spot, she'd try for that spot again 2-3 kicks later. I was so busy blocking and worrying, I hadn't seen this predictable pattern sooner!
So, I let her nail me in the jaw with a roundhouse kick. THAT hurt.

Sure enough, she eventually went for my jaw again. I grabbed her foot and lifted her leg upwards until she lost balence and fell. In a sparring match, once you hit the mat, game over.

Sophie was in shock. She knew about my weakness, and didn't expect defeat. We were even, because I didn't expect to win. I pulled off my long white-belt.

Sophie had lost our bet. Seeing me pull off my belt, she sighed and put her hands behind her back.

"I thought you couldn't hit a girl, Mr. He-Man," she complained as I crossed her wrists and bound them very tightly.

I took off both of her white, long socks. "I DIDN'T hit you," I said as I tied her knees together with one sock. I glanced to the other students watching, who were now giggling. "Did any of you see me hit her?!"

A whole bunch of "No"s was their reply as I tied her ankles together with the other sock.

Then I slid off her green belt.

"Hey, what are you--" was all she could get out before I gagged her, tying the belt around her mouth and head twice before knotting it.

She lay there, mumbling and struggling to get free for about half the class (which'd be about 30 minutes) until she finally got free. Strangly enough, the Master didn't say a word about one of his students laying there trussed up.

She remained a friend and rival, but never challenged me to another sparring match. Wonder why...

THE END. The moral? NEVER challenge me to a fight unless you have the skills of Bruce Lee.

Or, you're a girl...

That's it for today. Like Athlete's Foot and Beanie Babys, I shall return. 'Ciao.

[Canuck100]

Wed Jul 21 07:48:21 1999

THE BOUND BEAUTY

A little prelude: in this story there is a girl named Laura. She was a girl I went out with for about 8 months who was REALLY pretty and liked bein' tied up. She had a lot of spunk in her, and had had a really hard life for a 16 year old, yet wasn't bitter. It only lasted 8 months because I beat up this dude who deserved to be arrested for what he....but that's another story I don't wanna get into now.

About one Friday during spring break of '97 she said that her folks were out of town (visiting her 107 mean-ass grandma who just wouldn't die) for the weekend and I could come over. So, I agreed (duh!).

After we made out for a while (I may be a jackass toward men but I can be a real swinger!), she showed me these Japanese cartoons that she had. Y'see, I collect them, too, and she was into them. God, she was perfect..

Anyway, to my disgust, she had over 60 episodes of "Sailor Moon" taped from TV.

I HATED Sailor Moon, and she knew it. It's the worst animated crap there is, and this is comin' from a guy who sat though "The Little Mermaid"

"I have a bet for you.." she hinted.

"You like Sailor Moon?" she asked sarcastically.

"Hell no!" I replied. "It makes Power Rangers look realistic. It sucks sour-frog ass."

"Well, I bet you $20 bucks you can't watch ALL my episodes without making one sarcastic or insulting remark," Laura dared.

I smiled. "Oh, let's make it interesting.....if I win, I get to tie you up!"

Her face beamed. "Really...?! Um....your on!"
To make a long story shorter, I was sittin' there for over 13 hours watching this crap in animated form. I couldn't contain the disgust, and started ragging on the show for the last 4 hours or so, making her laugh at my jokes. We were both rolling in laughter by the time it was over.

"Well, I guess I owe ya 20 bucks," I groaned.

"Don't bother," she said cheerfully. "You never have 20 bucks."

She was right; I rarely did.

"I needed that laugh," she said.

That led to another 5 minutes of necking before she said, "Hey, you wanna tie me up anyway?"

I was sort of in shock, but reality slapped me in the face and I got it together. "Sure. Just gimme a couple minutes to go pick up some stuff.

"Okay," she said as I left, winking.

I went to a hardware store a few blocks down and picked up some white duct tape (yes, it exists). I always thought it looked good. When I got back, she had a chair ready and waiting for me...er....her.

Man, was she a cool chick........damn......

The minute I came in with the roll of tape in my hand, she sat in the chair and put her hands behind her back. Boy, was she eager!

Not wanting to disappoint her, I got started on her wrists, crossing them and wrapping the tape around them.

"One lil' question," I asked as I wrapped. "If the bet wasn't real, why did ya make me watch Sailor Moon in the first place if ya wanted to be tied up all along?"

All I got was a giggle as I wrapped the tape around her ankles. I tore a strip for a gag and held it in front of her.

"Because you hated it!" she said, with a slick-yet-sexy smile. "I wanted to see you if you'd blow up or somethin'. I woulda been surprised if you DID pull it off!"

She had me there; she knew me better than I knew myself. "That's enough, lil' lady," I said, placing the strip over her lips.

Just for the record, I never stuff something in the person's mouth before gagging them. Back then it was becuse all my victoms were willing anyway and I'm too paranoid to do it now (see the bomb flick "Jawbreaker" an' you'll catch my drift).

I watched her struggle for 25 minutes. Boy, was she hot.

"Y'know, I should make you watch MTV for what you did," I teased. Most of the songs on MTV she loathed.

She chuckled underneath the gag. I let her squirm for another 15 minutes before I felt like making out again and cut her loose

She was a great girl.....why did fate take her away..? WHHHHHHYYYYYY????!!!!!

sorry......THE END..

Nearly lost it there...'Ciao.

[Canuck100]

Wed Aug 4 18:24:52 EDT 1999

THE FOOTBALL BET

My then beloved girlfriend Laura (the natural blonde) bet me a tie-up session that I would lose my next football game.

Maybe I'm ahead of myself. It was a few years back and I was in my high school's football team, the Cougers. We were facing one of the top 5 teams in New York...I forget the name. Anyhow, we were the underdogs and NO ONE thought that we would get close to winning. So did Laura, who made the bet. But, she liked to be tied up, so maybe it was her that got me all pyshed up for the game.

Now, lemme make this clear: I AIN'T A JOCK! In fact, I'm not even a fantastic player. All I can do is catch, tackle (maybe, if all the planets are alligned), and run.
The other team had this great player who was nicknamed "the Ox", because of his great strength and body odor (well, in my opinion).

Comparison:
"The Ox"-- 6'4'' tall, weighs about 240 pounds.
Me -- 5'8'' tall, weighs about 165 pounds.

GET THE PICTURE??! Anyhow, the game was underway that Saturday morn' and the score was 20-21 them. The team was desperate, so they said "Give the ball to Zorro" when we were at the 10 yard line in the final seconds....they had nothin' to lose.

I got the ball, and whizzed past that line like Tom Arnold past Roseanne! Then, on the one yard line, loomed "the Ox". We collided like two rhinos..

And when it was over, they were only cheering one rhino's name....

Mine. I scored. True story, I SWEAR.

Sure, I nearly got a concussion, and I had bruises that lasted for weeks, and twisted my ankle, but... hell with it...

Sunday came, and I went to Laura's house. She was happy...and so was I.

Laura and I talked and made out for a while, then I brought up the bet, and she grinned. She was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, and pink socks. All girls are genetically programmed to like pink, as well as flowers and candy; while men are programmed to like sports, fighting, and at least one gas-oriented bodily function. Who's the smarter sex..?!

Anyhow, so I got out the ropes and duct tape (white) and tied her hands behind her back, palms up. Then I tied her tighs and ankles together. We French-kissed (gotta love the French) before I placed the tape on her lips.

I kept her like that for an hour as I tickled and kidded with her, soaking in the sight. Man, you had to be there...

'Course, the funniest part is watchin' a guy limp into the living room with bondage stuff. I felt like a horny Long John Silver.

THE END.

I must leave now. Like "Walker: Texas Ranger" and nuclear threats, I shall return.
'Ciao.

[Canuck100]

Wednesday December 1st 1999 07:56:08

THE PUNK (pt 1 of 1)

I actually had something to post, so I thought I'd come here. Just to answer any questions, I haven't been here because my new girlfriend Stacy broke her foot, and I've been spending time with her. Amazed that a girl could like ME, huh? Hah!

Anyway, onto the tale.

I was walking down the street in my neighborhood, killing time before I went home. I'll only go home before I'd supposed to if I've been shot. So, I'm walking, and suddenly, this kid, with two buds, comes up to me. He couldn't have been older than 12 and was really short; he came up to about my chest. The two boys with him were a tad taller and about a year or two older. Now, this kid starts insulting me....ME, an 18 year old almost double his height! He called me "gay", a "wuss", said I was "poor; where'd ya get your clothes, the garbage?"

Now, I don't get my jollies from beating up kids, and boy, was he ASKING for a broken jaw. But I figure, I'll be mature, and just went on my way. The punk kid ran ahead.

Ahead were more of his pals (maybe 3), all boys, and this 12 year old dark blonde girl. The girl's wrists were bound to the front of her ankles with brown packing tape, and she was hopping around in a bent over position to get free. She wore the standard t-shirt and jeans.

At the punk kid's command, they pushed her, threw dirt at her, and even spat at her. But, when the punk kid actually kicked the defensless girl in the butt, I'd taken enough from the arrogant S.O.B.

I asked him to stop. Twice. He said,"Whatcha gonna do? Huh? Huh?" With that, he shoved me. I wobbled a little. I thought, what, is this kid suicidal?

I told him to take his best shot, and he stood back and did; a kick aimed at my groin. Too bad I caught his foot and shoved him down. He snarled and ran at me; I shoved him back. When he came at me again, this time with a stick, I'd had all I could stand. I lost control of my anger, grabbed the punk, and threw him about four feet into a corner garbage can, knocking both over.

He and his pals looked at me in horror. His lip bleeding and his ribs probably hurting like hell, he ran like a sissy, his pals following. I untaped the girl. She said ,"Thanks, mister", chuckling, and giving me a "damsel to knight in shining armor" look. Still puzzled at the punk's guts and stupidity, and maybe a little regretful (maybe), I went on my merry way.

THE FRICKIN' END.
Like any good infection, I shall return. 'Ciao.

Zorro
www.ifyouclickonthisyeramoron-getalife.com
US of A, baby...

[Canuck100]

Tuesday February 8th 2000 05:52:16

HOME MOVIES 2: "ZORRO vs. SPIDERMAN"

Hi, I'm, baaaaaaaaack! And I actually have a story. And before the Apocalpse, just like I promised.

Anyhow, waaaay back, I posted a story about how my friend Matt has a video camera and we make movies now and then. All we basically do is come up with a story and go from there. Total improvisations. Our stuff is, at times, funnier than "Seinfeld" (of course, that show was NEVER funny, but now I'm ranting..).

Well, last October, about 2 weeks before Holloween, we came up with a stupid idea based on our costumes. I was Zorro (duh) and my pal Mike had a new Spiderman costume, so I think one of my buds said, "Hey, why don't we have Zorro fight Spiderman?"

It sounded okay, so we got started. I had to keep my beard tubble and Mike had to practice his grappling and buy 2 Spiderman silly-string shooters from Toys R Us. We got this hockey plot together that the mafia boss Hammerhead (my pal Tom, who is only 5'7'' but really buff), a Spiderman villian (look it up, fanboys!) teams up with some Zorro enemey we made up called the Phantom Pimpernil (y'know, "P.P.", for an easy series of jokes) kidnap Spidey's girlfriend Mary Jane (my friend Helan, with red dyed hair). Since "P.P." kinda looks like Zorro (wears black, has a cape), and Zorro is in New York searching for "P.P.", Spidey blames Zorro for the abduction, which sets up this stupid crossover.

The abduction scene took 3 minutes, and was your standard, hand-over-mouth-as-she-yells-into-it, "Shut up girlie, yer comin' with us" kinda scene. Mind I tell you that Helan is 5'4'' and really hot? Too bad she's always got a boyfriend..

We came across a problem: who wins the Zorro/Spidey fight? That was the next scene, which took a few hours. Set in a local park around dusk, Zorro meets Spidey, having already been beaten up by Hamerhead and his two expendble goons (buds Rob and Greg), for an assist. Spidey's set on pulping Zorro's face, and the battle begins.

Here was the drill: all face hits were faked, a body shot, altough not full force, could be "real" if the party could take it. Submission holds were real, wreslting moves, if any, were fake, and reactions had to be acted out. A punch tothe mouth couldn't just be shugged off. Spiderman is tougher, so my reactions had to be worse. And yes, I know, in a real fight, Spidey would mop the floor with Zorro.

Long story short: Spiderman was winning with punches and holds, while Zorro dodged the "webbing". Zorro, desperate, escapes a hold with a "nad shot", and pokes him in the chest with his mighty plastic sword.

"Ow, you hit my nipple, B**tch," was Spidey's line (I really did hit him there). Zorro puts the tip of the sword to the wallcrawler's neck, fake blood oozing from his mouth, and they talk it out.

Then came the tie-up scene. Helan was tied to a chair, wrists behind her back, gagged with a strip of white duct tape, for the final fight scene. She muffled well, and that took about an hour.
Well, that's it. You won't find this movie in any store, and we rated it "R" for a lotta cursing and obsene jokes.

Hope you dudes liked it. I must away with me. But, like the Power Rangers, annoying as they may be, I shall return. 'Ciao.

Zorro