Lately I've been thinking about how my interests in BDSM have changed over the last couple of years. It really wasn't that long ago I was really only interested in light bondage. I was fascinated by the whole idea of a guy tying me up and having me helpless.
I'm in a committed relationship now, with a Dom, and am more interested in being overpowered and dominated. Getting tied up is still really important, I'm just not into handcuffs, tape, or othe non-rope restraints, but I'll submit to them if he wants me to. I'm really glad he doesn't, though
My question is this: Has anyone else been little surprised by their changing lifestyles, or maybe just interest in bondage? Maybe the reverse of mine, going from being a submissive to someone who just wants to be tied up? Or maybe changing from an interest in ropes to handcuffs, or an interest in roleplaying to just straight bondage games?
I was once more interested in being tied up until I met a girl on a crazy afternoon who wanted to be tied up.
I handcuffed her and tied her with scarves and felt the warm of her trust as she placed herself in my hands and craved more.
Now I am a dominant, in that I seek control, rather than to be controlled.
I seek the control that is given, not that which is taken, seeking to validate the control that I am given rather that just forcefully dominating others.
wolfman wrote: ↑4 years ago
I was once more interested in being tied up until I met a girl on a crazy afternoon who wanted to be tied up.
I handcuffed her and tied her with scarves and felt the warm of her trust as she placed herself in my hands and craved more.
Now I am a dominant, in that I seek control, rather than to be controlled.
I seek the control that is given, not that which is taken, seeking to validate the control that I am given rather that just forcefully dominating others.
Really interesting, you used to be a guy who wanted to be tied up, and now you're a Dom who wants his partner to willingly surrender...that's a big change
Mine has actually gone towards the opposite direction after getting some hands-on experience.
During my formative years I saw tie ups as purely sexual whereas now I'm at a point where I'd rather not have sex (other than oral and forced orgasm depending on the scenario we're playing) with a tied up lady. I started seeing sex itself as something special and unrelated to bondage.
My last relationship was purely built upon BDSM and I suppose its safe to say that I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I care more about romanticism when it comes to romantic relationships now. With that being said, I still am open to playing with people that I have no romantic interest in.
Still not a fan of cuffs and chains though tape all the way
NabHer wrote: ↑4 years ago
Mine has actually gone towards the opposite direction after getting some hands-on experience.
During my formative years I saw tie ups as purely sexual whereas now I'm at a point where I'd rather not have sex (other than oral and forced orgasm depending on the scenario we're playing) with a tied up lady. I started seeing sex itself as something special and unrelated to bondage.
My last relationship was purely built upon BDSM and I suppose its safe to say that I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I care more about romanticism when it comes to romantic relationships now. With that being said, I still am open to playing with people that I have no romantic interest in.
Still not a fan of cuffs and chains though tape all the way
That's great you can do that...have bondage games with people you're not involved with sexually. Not a lot of men can do that.....
I did passed though lots of changes since the time I first start to like bondage to today.
When I was young, I used to play tie up games with my old brother and cousin. We took turns tying each other up. I was tied up very often and I tied them a lot too. But with the time, I started to deslike being tied up and today I am a full dom.
I also used to like very light bondage, but as I became adult and found new ways and other forms of play with someone bound and gagged in your possesion, I started to enjoy other forms or play and other fetishes too.
The most recent one ocurred like 4 years ago quen I suddenly started to like a little more... "Hardcore" plays, and I got a little scary myself because it was something that I depiste and yet started to like so suddenly. Now I accept that part of myself and for now I am going well.
Indeed the fetishes that we have and even tastes are cabable of change and evolve with the time. Maybe you receive so much influence of your friends and the things you do. It's interresting how that works!
Oddly enough I used to be against gags. I was only interested in being restrained. But now I totally changed on that topic. I don’t consider myself to be fully “tied up” unless I’m gagged. A strip of duct tape over my mouth at the Barry least.
Climb mountains, camp in deserts, explore jungles, search in tide pools, love your planet.
I pretty much started out seeing myself as a dom just doing selfbondage in lack of someone to tie up. When I met my wife i still considered myself a pure dom until one day she suggested that she could tie me up. It really did something to me and after playing with her and enjoying both roles i today consider myself a switch, some times i even consider myself more a sub than a switch.
Although I like the site of cleave gags, I did not like wearing them at all. In recent years, I've warmed up to cleave gags and tend to use them more often. They took some getting used to for me, but nowadays I'm totally cool getting cleave gagged.
Just your average crossdressing damsel in distress...
Not sure about my friends, but as a boy, beginning around 8, and lasting partially through my 15th year, sex and/or sexual feelings never entered in to it. I started slow, maybe tying and getting tied by friends, mostly my own age, on an average of once or twice a month.
As I aged, the age range widened, as did the frequency. At 10, it was -2 to +5, and maybe 3-4 times a month, but when I turned 11, and joined boy scouts, it was a combination of tying and being tied as many as 6-8 times in a day, but that day was a weekend day. Summer and spring and Christmas breaks, were a bit more frequent. But no one was ever tied for more than 20 minutes unless they wanted it, and then, never more than 45 minutes.
I didn't particularly like being tied; for that matter, I don't think anybody did, save for a tall, skinny 13 year old, who could slide his hands under his butt, untie his feet, step through, then use his teeth to untie his hands. But we sure liked tying up our friends. I'd try and think of ways I could get one (or more) of my friends, to let me tie them up. What usually worked, was calling my "target" a "chicken," or saying "Let's trade tie-em-ups, and see who's better at tying and escaping."
Yet, if I was going to get tied up - a better than 95% probability - I liked it better if one of my friends was tied up with me. I had heard something once, and it stuck with me: "Danger and adventure, whether real or imagined, are always more fun and exciting when shared with a friend." And some of us had some really vivid imaginations.
At 15, everybody was younger by 1-6 years. As the oldest, and unofficial 'leader,' it fell on me to make sure everybody was OK. I pretty much knew who I could tie well, who I needed to go easy on, and instruct the 13-14 year olds in that area, for when i moved on, and one of them moved into my "leadership position."
I think the one lesson I wanted to drill home, besides safety, was "Let the little kids (10 or younger), win once in a while."
It's not as big a change as some here, but over the last year I've gotten to explore my sadist side a little more. Up until then, my play was almost strictly bondage, with the odd smack on the bum for fun. But lately I've played with women who want more. More pain, more mistreatment. Knowing that they want it, I must say I do quite enjoy playing the bad guy to a stronger degree
Nexus wrote: ↑4 years ago
It's not as big a change as some here, but over the last year I've gotten to explore my sadist side a little more. Up until then, my play was almost strictly bondage, with the odd smack on the bum for fun. But lately I've played with women who want more. More pain, more mistreatment. Knowing that they want it, I must say I do quite enjoy playing the bad guy to a stronger degree
This sounds like me, from the other end of the dom/sub equation Though for me I don't think of it as 'mistreatment'
