Toyed with whether to post this - I don't tend to have much success interacting with people on here (everyone I have spoken to has been lovely though), but I was curious about people's experiences in this.
Have you ever gotten into a relationship with someone and wanted to explore the idea of introducing bondage into your love life? If so, how did they respond? Did you have to convert someone completely into it, or did it turn out they possessed the same kinks as you and it brought you closer together? What did you do if your partner didn't seem that keen, but open to trying new things? Did you change their mind
Before the internet it was a lot trickier, I would meet someone and if I got on well with the new girlfriend there comes a point at which I would want to ask 'The Question'.
It's a dilemma that I've always encountered, do you tell someone about your fantasies early on in the hope they're receptive or do you wait until you've developed a relationship? But if you wait, what happens if they're not in to it?
The how was always tricky, I discovered one girlfriend was kinky almost by accident. I pinned her wrists playfully whilst kissing and on the next date she asked me to do it again because she liked it. I asked her if she minded me using something to secure her wrists so I'd have my hands free, and she agreed. Other girlfriends it was a bit more of a minefield.
Back then I'd say most of my girlfriends were 'converts' who I introduced to TUGs and kink after we started dating.
With the internet it became easier in many ways, you could get chatting to someone on the old Yahoo Groups though that didn't lead to any Dates! Everyone seemed to be in the USA or already in a relationship. But it did provide a useful way to show girlfriends that the TUG world wasn't that weird in reality. Having lots of likeminded people was a positive and also a source of advice & support. (like this place).
Internet dating has been a game changer. You can now chat about lots of topics, including kink if you want, in a way that protects you and the other person. That openness and level of safeguarding is something I wish I'd had when I first started. It's possible now to discuss fantasies online and then meet someone IRL with no worries about how they'll react if you mention bondage.
I would also say though that it's possible even now with the advantages of dating apps to not meet someone who is 100% in to the same things as you. So talk. And talk. And talk some more. Compromise is the key in my opinion, and don't assume just because your boyfriend or girlfriend has done a roleplay with you once before (or a 100 times) that they'll want to keep doing it. Always keep the consent dialogue going, maybe have a little variety, and allow time for a breather.
I'd also say that the probability of finding someone who's already kinky is increasing as society evolves; but that means you're probabaly going to be dating a 'convert'. So take it easy and take them on the journey with you is my advice.
There comes a point in any relationship when you can talk about intimate things about yourself with the other person, and they should be able to accept your quirks. I wrote about when I shared with my now wife about my fantasies of being tied up as a superhero: https://tugstories.com/viewtopic.php?f= ... an#p132266.
My wife has indulged me in my fantasies, and I've indulged her in her non-bondage desires, even though we don't really understand the appeal of each other's fantasies. I'm glad we could talk through these things when we were still dating, and we've been indulging each other since.
