I need some real help...

[BoundandgaggedN8T]

So this last week has been horrible for me, first my girlfriend broke up with me which really messed me up. We were together for almost 2 whole years and our relationship was going fine up until last month and ever since then we’ve been failing apart until she told me that we were done. Looking back on it I should’ve known but in the moment I was shocked.

Sadly that wasn’t all, a very close relative passed away 2 days later. That also shocked me and made me really depressed because I looked up to the person and death just hits different than a break up. Of course something else had to happen, I was fired from my job just yesterday because I had been overwhelmed by my break up and the death in my family.

Now I don’t know what to do, today I was scrolling through instagram just looking for a friend to talk to but I found a really cute girl I followed that I didn’t remember. She must have been a mutual friend or someone from high school and as I checked her out I realized how easy it would be to kidnap her.

I always had a dream of kidnapping someone but that was so unrealistic but as I thought about it I began thinking I could actually do it because I felt like I had nothing to lose. Thankfully I came to my senses and thought clearly and knew it was stupid but earlier today I found myself planning the kidnapping out.

I’m someone who doesn’t open up to much people but I understand what could happened if I go through with my plans. I opened up to this site because y’all get my kidnapping dream and don’t think I’m a creep or anything. If anyone has advice or had been through anything I talked about and had real plans about kidnapping anyone please reply.

[bondagefreak]

[mention]BoundandgaggedN8T[/mention]
I'm sorry to hear about the recent hardships you've gone through. I think many of us can sympathise with your experience, as you'd be hard-pressed indeed to find anyone over 30 who hasn't experienced the loss of a relative or the pain of a breakup.

The first thing you need to come to terms with is that, as down and as miserable as you might feel, your feelings are perfectly normal. Depending on the circumstances, breakups can leave you feeling empty, alone and hurt for weeks and even months. The death of a loved one will follow you for many months to come and will also sporadically come to visit you for many years afterwards. The pain will eventually subside, but will never completely go away. Maybe it's not supposed to.


In any case, this grieving period is a normal process. Try not to avoid it. You need to give yourself time to grieve. Attempting to divert yourself with other things (ex: bondage & bondage fantasies) will do nothing but postpone the inevitable and extend the sadness, hurt and loneliness. I realise that what I'm suggesting is harder said than done, but the only healthy way of coping with this sort of hardship is to allow yourself time to grieve...whether it be weeks or months. Your mind will "move on" only when it is ready to move on and once you have grieved properly.

The best advice I can give you is to accept the fact that it's normal to feel the way you do. If possible, talk to your flesh-and-blood friends about what you're going through. Real-life connections are infinitely more meaningful than online ones. In any case, know that you are very young and that you have most of your life ahead of you.

This will be of no consolation right now, but happier days are ahead of you. You still have so much to experience and many good memories to build up ahead of you. The close relative you lost is still with you and lives on in both your heart and your memories. Know for a fact that he/she cared for you a great deal and would want you to flourish and overcome this grief. Honour him/her by going through your grieving period and coming out of it. Don't give up. Just get through it, one day at a time, step by step.

Some days you'll feel ok. On other days you'll feel horrible.
That's perfectly understandable, not to mention entirely normal.


Make sure you get enough sleep. Try to stay physically active (even if you don't feel like it). Drink your 2L of water a day and try to keep a balanced diet. Your sleeping habits and physical health will have a large impact on your mental/emotional state. Go easy on yourself for the next couple of months, and be sure to take it one day at a time.

[that1kid13]

Please find yourself a therapist, this isn’t normal or okay behavior. And please for the love of god be smart and don’t talk about plans of kidnapping someone online. Nothing is truly anonymous.

[Pantyhose971]

Asking for help is the first step of a lot of things. But my advice would be search some professional help. Not that I say you are crazy but I can tell you from experience they help you sorting things out.

You went through a lot lately and it is not weird that you sometimes don't see it anymore.

If you want some information about my experience feel free to pm. That is something I rather not share in public.

[drawscore]

Sometimes you get into a funk, and it's hard to get out. Just remember, "Illigitimi non tatum carborundum." It's Latin. It means "Don't let the bastards wear you down."

[Nexus]

Please find yourself a therapist, this isn’t normal or okay behavior. And please for the love of god be smart and don’t talk about plans of kidnapping someone online. Nothing is truly anonymous.

I strongly agree with the second half of this post. DO NOT actually kidnap somebody without their consent. That’s a criminal act and definitely NOT cool.

However I will say that anything you are feeling is ok. It’s perfectly natural to have feelings of confusion, sadness, longing, wanting, or anything really, following such traumatic events such as the end of a relationship, or even more with the death of a loved one. If some of these feelings manifest themselves in bondage/kidnapping fantasies, that’s ok too. What’s important is to only act on those fantasies in a safe and consensual manner.

It sounds like you need to talk this out with someone. Reaching out here was a good start. Perhaps you have a close friend/family member you can confide in, otherwise as mentioned there is the professional therapy route.

[BoundandgaggedN8T]

Thanks for the help everybody especially "Illigitimi non tatum carborundum" which made me laugh a bit.

I’m feeling a lot better and not thinking about kidnapping anyone at all because I realized that I still have tons to lose and how horrible it would be to the person I kidnap. I’m still upset though, mostly because of the death of my close family member. Losing my girlfriend and job also still hurts but I can get new ones.

I’ve decided not to get professional help because I know I don’t need it anymore. My real therapy comes in the form of two friends, one is my best friend who I just hang out with and have fun with to take my mind off everything. The other person is someone I just recently met and I shared my feelings with her and she actually listens. Also I’m now looking for a new job.

I’m still sad but I’ll get over it, I’m sure.

[drawscore]

It is said that "laughter is the best medicine."

Drawscore