Bondage Safety

[Gemscot]

When Paul and I first started playing bondage games, we were surprised our parents accepted them. We found out our parents had a liking for bondage at our age, and for all we know they might still do! The initial guidance they gave us was:

1 - Don't hurt him/her.
2 - Don't keep him/her tied too long.

They did give more guidance as we progressed and got older. We more or less play bondage games by the following rules:

1 - Only play bondage games with people you know and trust absolutely and intimately. NEVER play with strangers or just acquaintances.

2 - Never play bondage games with anyone who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

3 - No one must ever be tied up against their will or if they are really scared of the idea.

4 - A pre-arranged and readily recognisable safe word must be agreed. This safe word must never be abused, and once it is given the games must stop and the captive release immediately.

5 - For longer bondage games, check the restraints periodically to ensure they are not causing injury.

6 - Gags must not restrict breathing or risk choking, and must be quick-removable in the event of emergency.

7 - A captive must never be left totally alone (ie unable to call the captor or anyone else).

8 - A captive maybe left alone for short periods, but must not be gagged during this time.

Gemma

[drawscore]

No rope/binding around the neck. Ever!

If the captive wants to be released, he/she is released immediately. No questions asked, no teasing.

Always have a "spotter." (spotter can be out of sight of the captive, or the captive may be blindfolded, but the spotter is always there.)

Time limit on how long a person is tied. Our limit was 20 minutes, but the captive could ask for additional time, up to 45 minutes, to try and escape.

Take it easy on the little kids (9-10-11 year olds). Let them escape 2-4 times out of 10. It gives them a feeling of accomplishment, and keeps them interested.

Same applies to when you get tied by a little kid. Pretend you can't escape a few times, even if you easily could.

When tied, everybody got gagged, but usually with just a moderately tight cleave gag, or an OTM gag, both of which can be easily pushed out/away. (A good 'captive' can make a moderately tight cleave gag look really tight,)

"Indian" gags (a bandana in the mouth, then a cleave gag) only with the OK of the captive, Spotter must ALWAYS be present.

And, as has been said so many times before, this is a game! Games are supposed to be fun for both the captor and the captive. If it stops being fun for the captive, it becomes abuse, and that is never good.

Drawscore

[Gemscot]

We have soft ball gags which can be fastened/unfastened in a second or two.

If the captive wants releasing they just say so and that is respected as much as the safe word.

[sami200456boyfriend]

Always be safe is the top priority

[Bastian]

Everytime caution with knots and gags, the big rule that no one can ignore.

[TheOfficeOrc]

Great points made in this thread so far!

One that I try to stick to, but very rarely see mentioned in discussions like this, is taking it slow when playing with someone new.

Sometimes a play partner may be enthusiastic about trying strict bondage straight away, but throwing someone into the deep end is a one-way ticket to panic attack city.

I try to structure my sessions now to build up to things like that, no matter how experienced they are, making sure to fully debrief them on everything that will be happening in each session, and communicating with the partner throughout the session.

Some might consider this overkill but I now do something along these lines:

Session #1 - Showing equipment to the partner, allowing them to try on one thing at a time. Showing them some basic rope techniques with hands in front.

Session #2 - A basic escape challenge. Wrist and ankles bound. Light gag.

Session #3 - Same as session #2, but with chest harness and hogtie.

Session #4 onwards - Introduce impact play, sensory deprivation, new ties, more extreme gags, role play, etc. Only introducing one new thing per session.

[Gemscot]

We have been strong swimmers since we were old enough to go swimming and we see a strong similarity between swimming and bondage.

In swimming, we started in the "Baby Pool", then moved to the shallow end of the "Big Pool" and worked our way up gradually to the deep end.

As the last poster clearly illustrates, start bondage at the "shallow end" and work your way to the "deep end". We did.

[TightsBound]

Always have a back up method of release like scissors/knife or a spare key. I think this applies for both self bondage and bk dave with a partner.

[Gemscot]

We always have a pair of scissors and a jar of vaseline handy.

[wannabetiedup]

We always have a pair of scissors and a jar of vaseline handy.

I can understand the scissors, but what's the vaseline for?

[Gemscot]

Ropemarks if we accidentally tie the ropes too tight.

[wannabetiedup]

Ropemarks if we accidentally tie the ropes too tight.

That's a top tip, I didn't know that!

[ExcessivelyCurious]

Yeah, method of escape is very important. If you're using rope, you want some good quality scissors/shears

Similarly, be very aware of the risk of cutting off somebody's circulation. Other people have written full-on guides on this.

If you want to try something particularly new or weird, look it up or thoroughly think it through. Bondage is never perfectly safe, but do everything you can to make it safer.

If gags are being used, have a non-verbal safe word.

[illest]

I'm bumping this for a special safety message from a personal experience I just had. Unless you really know what you're doing and you have serious restraint, I implore you to stay away from self bondage.

I had the most scariest session ever. I've always wanted to try to sleep in bondage so I had bought a sleep mask online and I was going to try to sleep with a simple hogtie. I've hogtied myself hundreds of times so I figured it'd be another easy session. I usually have enough slack in my wrist coils and my cinch nooses never tighten to the point where they untighten so I figured I would be fine. I put my scissors beside me just in case. However I realized I made my cinch way too long for a hogtie so I looped it with my knee rope before coming under the ropes binding my ankles and back through. Horrible mistake. If I was to rate this mistake it'd be somewhere between my first tenure of college and my first long term girlfriend. Unspeakably stupid on my behalf.

So I tape my mouth shut(equally stupid) and put the sleep mask on before cinching. I never have a problem with wiggle room and besides! I had scissors. I was then met with a few critical problems that hit me almost simultaneously.

A. My wrist coils were way tighter than normal, and any motion this time was actually making them tighter.

B. My cinch was unusually firm and got tighter also but would not loosen.

C. Having a sleep mask on to not see where everything was made it much more difficult under the circumstances.

D. Having three small strips of tape over my mouth, which I thought was very light compared to my usual was very effective at making me panic

E. Whether it was due to me panicking or due to the rope being strong or the scissors being weak, (or my bound wrists) the damned things were not cutting the rope.

I was scared. Terrified. How long would I be like this? Would I be another newspaper story? Would my wife and family get the horrid news that I passed away in such a humiliating predicament?

I struggled, tried to use the scissors in whatever way and prayed. By brute strength and the grace of God I managed to brute force out of the hogtie position at least, get the sleep mask off and enough of the tape off so I could breathe easier. I was still stuck. Then somehow my wrist coil loosened, enough that I could get the wrist coils off. No disrespect to anyone that's not religious, but I prayed and thanked God for a solid minute. I started getting out of my bonds and my thump felt weird. I turned the light on and looked at my thumb. Blood. Not "OMG emergency room blood" but definitely a worse cut than usual. I was able to see the source; three wounds from where I tried to cut the wrist coils witj the scissors.

I've decided that self bondage is over for me. I threw my rope away save for the pink bondage rope I have stashed in case my wife ever does take a interest in bondage and we can do it safely. Threw my ace bandage that I usually use as a gag as well. Pretty much anything that would tempt me to going back to self bondage is trashed. I've resolved that any future bondage fantasies will be enacted in what I watch, read, or draw. This was about a hour ago so I'm still a bit shook up. At the same time, it needed to happen. I've felt like the time was coming that I needed to distance myself from at least self bondage and that was a pivotal moment.

It's scary because compared to my usual gags abd outfits it was actually tame. If I had done a couple of things different that I'm prone to do regularly in my scenarios, we might not be having this conversation. I can't be hypocritical and tell anyone not to do self bondage after all the years I've done it, but PUT SAFETY FIRST. And make sure that you have multiple means of escape, that they are all reasonably fullproof, and that you don't do a scenario where the fantasy of the scenario clouds your judgment of how south the actual scenario can go.

[FelixSH]

Thanks for sharing the experience. I feel like sharing these experiences is very important, as it is really hard to imagine how much selfbondage can go wrong.

[illest]

Yeah I felt a responsibility to share. The crazy thing about self bondage is the better you get at it the more dangerous it becomes. You find yourself in a nasty cycle of trying to 1-up your binds, and all it takes is one time for you to get a little too good at securing yourself.

[andrewtied]

i use to like zipties but don't use them unless you want to use zipties then wear a long sleeve shirt and pants.

[drawscore]

Yeah I felt a responsibility to share. The crazy thing about self bondage is the better you get at it the more dangerous it becomes. You find yourself in a nasty cycle of trying to 1-up your binds, and all it takes is one time for you to get a little too good at securing yourself.

Always remember that "Murphy's Law" applies. The law states that if anything CAN go wrong, it WILL go wrong, and usually at the worst possible moment.

ALWAYS have an "easy out," and don't try sleeping tied up, unless you have a (very trusted) friend sleeping over with you, to act as a spotter.

Drawscore

[tiedinbluetights]

While lurking on someone's blog about matters related to bondage (with mostly a femdom/malesub perspective, but applicable to all flavors), I came across the following very useful video from bondage model Ariel Anderssen "13 things that every BDSM producer should know"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=P9SVxXOYLls

It contains some very useful safety tips applicable to all. Tip #1 is especially relevant to all TUGs, but all the tips have elements that would make our TUGs safer.

[AbductedAddiction]

2 - Don't keep him/her tied too long.

It depends on how you "define" don't keep him/her tied up too long, because you are talking to someone that has done a one-week bondage scene. If it's agreed upon, then yes. However, NOT in the same position for hours, you are correct. Always check in with them. It doesn't mean you have to break the scene or asking would break the scene. Just simply feel them and make sure he/she has a way to communicate with you if something is wrong with the bounds.

[Elusive_Lady]

This is a very good topic for bondage. Safety has to come first.

[honourthechapter1775]

The best rule I have with my fiancee when we're practicing bondage is to "never to tie a knot you can't undo". Simple yet effective