Are you “Normal”?

[Deleted User 1472]

Thought this would be an interesting talking point. Who here considers themselves to be fairly vanilla people, bondage aside? Do you even want to feel that way? The reason I ask is I don’t see myself as particularly interesting or out there but bondage is just something I’ve honestly always enjoyed for as long as I can remember! Sometimes I do get down about it and just wondered if anyone else ever feels this way? Thanks!

[LK3869]

Couldn't let that unanswered, with such a catchy title
"Normal" just means "more frequent" or "mainstream", anything else is just "rare" or "alternative"...

Being into TUGs is a "normal" reaction for personalities that have difficulties or troubles adjusting to others ( seen as "normal" ). Those "troubles" can range for minor self-doubts to a complete feeling of inadequation but the basic answer is the same, so it's "normal".

So would say being into TUGs is not "just a kink", like in: "it never appealed to me but I tried it and found I liked it a lot" . Being into TUGs says a lot about everyone of us.
In that sense, the more normal, or successfull or happy you seem to be, the less reasons you seem to have to like TUGs; then it HAS to mean something about your deep personality.
Doesn't mean you're bad or abnormal, just that you have things crossing your mind that need to be adressed. And the fact we all do it in the same way is proof in itself that it's a behavioral pattern. And widely shared...among a small fraction of the general population.

To answer more personaly: can't call myself "vanillia" because I'm all into agressive stuff since I was a kid and only recently discovered the appeal of playfull bondage BUT it's also just a technical, basic setting of my mind I had to deal with, not something "good" or "bad" in nature.
But starting with such a poor deal in hands, it's all too normal and sadly predictible I jumped into TUGs so eagerly and naturaly.
Then simple fact that all the (intense) guilty-feeling and morale lessons of any kind couldn't take the fun and excitation away tells me it's unavoidable and appropriate, at least in my case. Of course, the pleasure you get from it is also completely "mechanical", but it's as powerfull as any drive telling "normal" people to mate and couple and reproduce, so it has to be seen as "real" and as powerfull an injunction to be followed.

My cold, deterministic views on the matter, I do think we are mainly programmed things believing they act freely.
But would be nice to have other kind of inputs, someone with a more emotional way to look at things, or even mystic views if there are some...

Curious to know how you see yourself, [mention]Roped[/mention] : normal with an innocent kink or taming a wild nature with ropes?

[bondagefreak]

[mention]Roped[/mention]
Unfortunately, the term "vanilla" carries a somewhat negative connotation in the BDSM community.
Basically, "vanilla" describes anyone who is NOT eccentric or extravagant, in which case I am extremely "vanilla".

Aside from being really good with rope and having a strong dominant side, I'm a pretty normal guy.
I have hobbies like everyone else, enjoy long days at the beach, appreciate good food, have an affinity for music, photography, working out and being outdoors.

Whether or not someone finds "vanilla" to be boring, is entirely their problem.
I'll not apologise for who I am. IMO, do what you enjoy and let others do the same.

[LK3869]

[mention]bondagefreak[/mention] :knew you'd answer to that one too

[Deleted User 1059]

As others here have said, the term 'vanilla' can mean a variety of different things in different contexts.

In the context of kinks and bondage itself, I'm pretty far from what 'vanilla' would suggest. I like my bindings strict and gags silencing, and don't get me started on the other kinks I have. I'm not into super extreme stuff like snuff, but I'm pretty far from what the term 'vanilla' connotates as far as bondage and other kinks go.

However, if in the context of the BDSM community in general, where vanilla means not extravagant and eccentric (as [mention]bondagefreak[/mention] put it), I'm not vanilla at all. BDSM is reserved for the nighttime only, and during the day I'm like almost anyone else: I love cats and dogs, I make music, I spend time with family, and I listen to the new Death Grips album an excessive amount :p

How about we just do away with the term vanilla? I like being tied up, you like being tied up, that person doesn't necessarily like being tied up, in the end who cares what we touch ourselves to at 3am?

[DallasNotAustin]

I’d consider myself pretty normal for the most part in terms of the bondage community. I’m a rope bunny and I’ll do some pain and stuff but for the most part the major attraction is the feeling of being restrained. I don’t really derive any pleasure from the knowledge that my captor could plug my nose and make me black out and maybe die, not do I derive pleasure from pain. I feel like “normal” applies to people in the same boat as me, people who like to be tied up and gain pleasure from the feeling of being restrained, as opposed to the other things that may come with it.

[Tsuhaya]

I always thought the term vanilla way behind in any context, because after all, what is vanilla? It is a word that covers so many things, what is "normal" for me may not be "normal" for you. In my daily life I love studying, I love studying numbers, I love math and I love study naval engineering , but many people find it crazy and don't consider me "normal". I like all musical styles, I'm addicted to learning new languages (five so far ), I'm a gym rat, and I love to eat fast food. Even in the BDSM world, what I like may not be "normal" for someone who also enjoys BDSM. So again I ask, why do they still use the word "vanilla"? For me it doesn't make sense, since I don't fit in the term "vanilla" nor in the world vanilla.

Answering your question, I consider myself supernormal, I don't know if other people think the same, but why should I care ?

[Jason Toddman]

Naw, I'm an oddball through and through. I have Asperger's Syndrome, and therefore (high-functioning) autistic - virtually guaranteeing I'll never be considered particularly normal in most situations. Took years of experience just to learn how to not make a fool of myself in public among strangers.

[Yveltal]

Nope. Nowhere near it.

I like things that entertain me, catch my interest, or l just have a hunch for, like bdsm. Most of these things are pretty rare when l compare myself to the crowd, and even those closest to me. There have been countless times where my individuality has been called out. I always knew l was weird (I'd say obnoxious, brutally honest, and bashful to start) and the way people view me only further proves it.

Or if you're talking about BDSM and l just took your question the wrong way, then l guess I'm pretty vanilla in that context. I have near zero experience with bondage, and none at all when it comes to sexual stuff, likely due to my age. I just know that it turns me on and l would love to try it one day. I don't even really know what specific things do it for me either. That's probably as vanilla as you can get.

[BondageKitten]

My motto is 'being normal is vastly over rated'

That said, I'd never want to be normal.

Nor have I ever been normal. I like being odd.

[Latexrubberboy]

As BondageKitten said. Being normal is vastly overrated!

If I'd been "normal" I wouldn't have met some of the people i know today!

[boundsub]

Interesting views on the term and concept of "normal".

My motto is there is no normal unless you're talking about standards of public behavior but personally outside of kink I'm a fairly "normal" young professional guy next door type. Basically your average everyday gay guy who happens to love bondage an has a major kinky side. I'm not that active in my local kink community though and am more interested in meeting friends through work, sports leagues, etc. I guess I'm "normal" whatever that means but not boring.

In terms of bondage and kink, I have a wide array of interests and lean more on the heavier, intense side of bondage. But that's normal too for people into bondage. Some kinks of mine aren't mainstream; I'm not going to list them since there's too many of them but I've never had anyone react negatively who I've shared them with.

I think a lot of kinksters wonder if they're "normal" or if there's something "wrong" with them. When I was younger I wondered this and even threw my bondage materials away once thinking something was wrong with me for fantaszing about being tied up by the hot jocks (lot's of self bondage back in those lonely days) And for a few years early on in HS I was somewhat ashamed to be gay but discovered when I started playing with others a lot of people, more than I ever thought, are into bondage to varying degrees and it goes deep in our submission/domination psyche. This was before 50 Shades of Grey brought it into the mainstream public but it's perfectly normal to have these kinds of fantasies.

I have to laugh at my younger self wringing my hands over whether I was "normal" and needlessly worrying when I should have been finding and playing with other like minded guys. Nothing to be ashamed of if it's safe, sane, legal and consensual. Just be you

[fratboydanny]

I completely agree with [mention]boundsub[/mention]. He stated my feelings spot on.

[gingerkat]

Normal is boring

[Exelsia]

I personally think I'm not "normal" when compared to my peers and those close to me, since my attraction to bondage has always been number where sexual desires is concerned. I've recently gotten a bit fond with the more sexual appeals but bondage is still essential for me. Whereas my peers and other friends consider the normal sexual intimacy to be their main mode of satisfaction and bondage is considered to be either a weird interest, not to mention being kinkshamed for liking it lol.

[dragonmp93]

Well, i have never considered myself normal; i have always had different interests from everyone else.