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First visit to my new friends
Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2024 4:49 pm
by Mandolin
In two weeks I will attend my first visit to the nearest bdsm-club from where I live. I thought these clubs only appeared in large cities, so I was thrilled when I found this one within an hours drive from my home. We have e-mailed a few times and it seems like discretion and safety is well taken care of.
For the first time in my life I will fully accept who I am and what I like. No more shrink-appointments to try and fix something that I now understand is not broken.
To meet someone with my own interest without having to explain, share thoughts and experiences and maybe meet someone special....I have no expectations in terms of action, but surely I hope for some. Wish me luck, and I plan to share my experience(s) here.
Re: First visit to my new friends
Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2024 6:26 pm
by cellofello
Congratulations on coming to the realization that enjoyment of bondage per se is no more "sick" or "broken" than being heavily into skydiving, mixed martial arts, or ultramarathons - all tastes of a small minority, yet nobody calls those things "sick" or "perverted". I suspect bondage is a more common interest than the things I've listed. Somehow anything that is connected with sexual urges other than one man/one woman penis-in-vagina intercourse (or, grudgingly, oral sex) has a stigma attached to it by many in American society. If someone has a problem with my doing it, well, I say that's their problem, not mine.
It's only a real problem if not everyone is an adult consenting to what's happening, it's done unsafely, or if it takes over your life to such an extent that it interferes with your ability to function. Otherwise, rock on!
I've been to clubs in NYC, Baltimore, DC, and Atlanta. Every one of them has been very concerned with consent and safety. I hope you have a fun time wherever it is you're going. However, when going solo, you are correct in that you may not meet someone there to play with, any more than someone is guaranteed to find a willing sex partner of the desired gender(s) when going out to a bar. I can still have fun watching others' scenes.
Re: First visit to my new friends
Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2024 9:48 am
by Mandolin
cellofello wrote: ↑3 months ago
Congratulations on coming to the realization that enjoyment of bondage per se is no more "sick" or "broken" than being heavily into skydiving, mixed martial arts, or ultramarathons - all tastes of a small minority, yet nobody calls those things "sick" or "perverted". I suspect bondage is a more common interest than the things I've listed. Somehow anything that is connected with sexual urges other than one man/one woman penis-in-vagina intercourse (or, grudgingly, oral sex) has a stigma attached to it by many in American society. If someone has a problem with my doing it, well, I say that's their problem, not mine.
It's only a real problem if not everyone is an adult consenting to what's happening, it's done unsafely, or if it takes over your life to such an extent that it interferes with your ability to function. Otherwise, rock on!
I've been to clubs in NYC, Baltimore, DC, and Atlanta. Every one of them has been very concerned with consent and safety. I hope you have a fun time wherever it is you're going. However, when going solo, you are correct in that you may not meet someone there to play with, any more than someone is guaranteed to find a willing sex partner of the desired gender(s) when going out to a bar. I can still have fun watching others' scenes.
Thank you for a good answer, I' m really looking forward to just be around others with the same interest.
Re: First visit to my new friends
Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2024 6:47 pm
by Lady of the Dark
Hey Mandolin,
Fetish clubs, there are many of them. The most important thing about a club, at least in my experience, is that you yourself feel comfortable and safe. That 'players' respect your limits and don't push your boundaries. That the partners you meet are sincerely interested in your desires about bondage/BDSM.
Yeah, sex will eventually be a thing. My advice, don't rush it. Keep that for the one special person you meet who likes you without bondage stuff as well. Eventually it's about trust and with trust fun will be assured. But hey, that's me. I'm old and wise nowadays.
Anyway, have fun and hopefully it helps to find a nice and loving partner.
Greetings,
The Lady