A Charity Kidnapping (all new chapter 4!) (FFF/F)
Posted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 7:34 am
Way back in the distant mists of time, when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth and everyone was dancing in the gangnam style, I was the President of the Save our Library committee at school.
It was a warm Summer’s afternoon, on one of the last weeks of class and the members of SOL (like all the cool kids, I loved acronyms) myself, Emily and Gemma were gathered around my kitchen table discussing possible fundraising events.
True to form, both of my guests had taken the time to change out of their uniform before they arrived whilst I remained primarily buttoned up in my school clothes, a fact that had not gone unnoticed by my guests.
“You know some people like to put on casual clothes after class” Emily mused.
Emily, it should be noted, was dressed in a pair of torn black jeans and a distressed tour shirt from a band I’d never heard of, whilst Gemma, the most ladylike of the three, was wearing a short sleeved green blouse and denim shorts.
“You don’t see me wearing a tie do you?” I replied dismissively. Which was true. Although I was still dressed in my white school blouse and black trousers.
“Now, as I was saying, there are no bad ideas,..” I said, opening the floor up to suggestions in the style of every team leader on the Apprentice.
“Everyone says that, but it’s almost never true” Gemma opined, looking up from her brightly coloured folder.
“What do you mean?”
Gemma thought for a moment “What about the New Coke? Wouldn’t you agree that that was a really stupid idea. Or the Sinclair C5?
“Well,..?” I mumbled
“Betamax? Napster?”
Gemma was taking a correspondence course in business studies and loved to show off what She’d learned each week.
“Well, yes but-”
Emily chimed in.
“Or the Phantom Menace? That movie was irremediably bad”
“I quite liked the pod race” I said quietly.
“Everyone liked the pod race Sam” Emily chided “But it didn’t justify sitting through 133 minutes of face melting, ass numbing, tedium about trade blockades”
Emily, it had to be said, had some very firm ideas on the subject of Sci-fi and was not afraid to share them with the group.
“Ok, ok, maybe there are some bad ideas,” I conceded, “But I have every faith that ours will do the very opposite of suck. In fact, they will be solid gold ideas that will positively reek of awesomeness”
Suitably enthused by my rousing, if somewhat incoherent, speech the group got to work.
We began by discussing the more traditional, or as Emily called them, ‘vanilla’, fundraising methods
“What about a bake sale?” Gemma ventured.
“That might be fun” I agreed
“But can any of us actually cook?” asked Emily, immediately pouring cold water over the idea.
It quickly transpired that no, we could not. So much so that Emily even made the, rather dubious, claim that she had once burnt a bowl of cereal.
“Okay, how about a sponsored car wash?” Gemma asked, working her way down her list of suggestions.
“Do you think anyone would pay to watch us clean their car whilst dressed in our undergarments?” I asked, somewhat pointedly.
We looked around the table.
A red headed science geek, a rugby captain with a broken nose and a nerdy bookworm with a uniform fetish.
“Possibly not” Gemma conceded.
“I know. What about a fun run?” Emily suggested.
“I had some blood work done, apparently I don’t have an athletic bone in my body” I said.
“And the only time I run is if I’m late for the bus” Gemma said, joining in
“Ok. The fun run is out!” Emily said putting a thick line through the suggestion.
This continued for some time until finally I plucked up the courage to share my idea. An idea I’d been working on in secret for quite some time,..
“Why not something with a more theatrical bent?” I teased.
“Go on?” Emily prompted, sounding intrigued.
“Yeah, don’t be shy” Gemma pressed.
“What about,.. a charity kidnapping?”
Gemma “A what now?”
“I read about it online. We tie up one of the teachers and demand a ransom for their safe return”
The girls pondered this for a moment.
“A manifestly excellent plan” Emily announced “with only two minor drawbacks”
“Which are?”
“Well, for one thing, isn’t kidnapping is a federal crime?,..”
“It would just be for pretend”
“That’s a relief, because I really didn’t want to go to prom in an orange jumpsuit” Gemma replied.
“And the other objection?”
“Well, who in their right mind would pay a ransom for any of our teachers, we’d be lucky to raise the cost of the bucket”
The hive mind pondered this for a while.
“What about Miss Aldred?” I said, hoping none of my friends would suspect this was my plan all along.
“The new drama teacher? What about her?” - Emily
“Well, She’s popular with the student body,..” (‘Not to mention extremely easy on the eye’, I thought to myself) “I bet She’d raise a pretty penny in ransom money”
“Assuming we could get her to agree that is,..” Gemma said, slowly warming to the idea
“And that’s a big ‘if’” Emily pointed out.
“Well, there’s no harm in asking is there?” I said, with a confidence I certainly didn’t feel “We can e-mail her tonight!”
“And say what? - Dear Miss Aldred, would you mind awfully if we abducted you for the day,..?”
“Well, I wouldn’t phrase it quite like that,..”
In the end, we spent the next half hour composing a e-mail to our drama teacher, laying out our proposal and assuring her (repeatedly) that She would come to no harm.
“And now, we play the waiting game,..” I said as we finally fired off the message.
In the end, we didn’t have to wait long.
Twenty minutes later a message popped up in my inbox.
“RE: Sponsored Kidnap
“Sounds like fun. Why don’t we meet up at lunch time tomorrow to discuss it?”
The deal, was on.
TBC
It was a warm Summer’s afternoon, on one of the last weeks of class and the members of SOL (like all the cool kids, I loved acronyms) myself, Emily and Gemma were gathered around my kitchen table discussing possible fundraising events.
True to form, both of my guests had taken the time to change out of their uniform before they arrived whilst I remained primarily buttoned up in my school clothes, a fact that had not gone unnoticed by my guests.
“You know some people like to put on casual clothes after class” Emily mused.
Emily, it should be noted, was dressed in a pair of torn black jeans and a distressed tour shirt from a band I’d never heard of, whilst Gemma, the most ladylike of the three, was wearing a short sleeved green blouse and denim shorts.
“You don’t see me wearing a tie do you?” I replied dismissively. Which was true. Although I was still dressed in my white school blouse and black trousers.
“Now, as I was saying, there are no bad ideas,..” I said, opening the floor up to suggestions in the style of every team leader on the Apprentice.
“Everyone says that, but it’s almost never true” Gemma opined, looking up from her brightly coloured folder.
“What do you mean?”
Gemma thought for a moment “What about the New Coke? Wouldn’t you agree that that was a really stupid idea. Or the Sinclair C5?
“Well,..?” I mumbled
“Betamax? Napster?”
Gemma was taking a correspondence course in business studies and loved to show off what She’d learned each week.
“Well, yes but-”
Emily chimed in.
“Or the Phantom Menace? That movie was irremediably bad”
“I quite liked the pod race” I said quietly.
“Everyone liked the pod race Sam” Emily chided “But it didn’t justify sitting through 133 minutes of face melting, ass numbing, tedium about trade blockades”
Emily, it had to be said, had some very firm ideas on the subject of Sci-fi and was not afraid to share them with the group.
“Ok, ok, maybe there are some bad ideas,” I conceded, “But I have every faith that ours will do the very opposite of suck. In fact, they will be solid gold ideas that will positively reek of awesomeness”
Suitably enthused by my rousing, if somewhat incoherent, speech the group got to work.
We began by discussing the more traditional, or as Emily called them, ‘vanilla’, fundraising methods
“What about a bake sale?” Gemma ventured.
“That might be fun” I agreed
“But can any of us actually cook?” asked Emily, immediately pouring cold water over the idea.
It quickly transpired that no, we could not. So much so that Emily even made the, rather dubious, claim that she had once burnt a bowl of cereal.
“Okay, how about a sponsored car wash?” Gemma asked, working her way down her list of suggestions.
“Do you think anyone would pay to watch us clean their car whilst dressed in our undergarments?” I asked, somewhat pointedly.
We looked around the table.
A red headed science geek, a rugby captain with a broken nose and a nerdy bookworm with a uniform fetish.
“Possibly not” Gemma conceded.
“I know. What about a fun run?” Emily suggested.
“I had some blood work done, apparently I don’t have an athletic bone in my body” I said.
“And the only time I run is if I’m late for the bus” Gemma said, joining in
“Ok. The fun run is out!” Emily said putting a thick line through the suggestion.
This continued for some time until finally I plucked up the courage to share my idea. An idea I’d been working on in secret for quite some time,..
“Why not something with a more theatrical bent?” I teased.
“Go on?” Emily prompted, sounding intrigued.
“Yeah, don’t be shy” Gemma pressed.
“What about,.. a charity kidnapping?”
Gemma “A what now?”
“I read about it online. We tie up one of the teachers and demand a ransom for their safe return”
The girls pondered this for a moment.
“A manifestly excellent plan” Emily announced “with only two minor drawbacks”
“Which are?”
“Well, for one thing, isn’t kidnapping is a federal crime?,..”
“It would just be for pretend”
“That’s a relief, because I really didn’t want to go to prom in an orange jumpsuit” Gemma replied.
“And the other objection?”
“Well, who in their right mind would pay a ransom for any of our teachers, we’d be lucky to raise the cost of the bucket”
The hive mind pondered this for a while.
“What about Miss Aldred?” I said, hoping none of my friends would suspect this was my plan all along.
“The new drama teacher? What about her?” - Emily
“Well, She’s popular with the student body,..” (‘Not to mention extremely easy on the eye’, I thought to myself) “I bet She’d raise a pretty penny in ransom money”
“Assuming we could get her to agree that is,..” Gemma said, slowly warming to the idea
“And that’s a big ‘if’” Emily pointed out.
“Well, there’s no harm in asking is there?” I said, with a confidence I certainly didn’t feel “We can e-mail her tonight!”
“And say what? - Dear Miss Aldred, would you mind awfully if we abducted you for the day,..?”
“Well, I wouldn’t phrase it quite like that,..”
In the end, we spent the next half hour composing a e-mail to our drama teacher, laying out our proposal and assuring her (repeatedly) that She would come to no harm.
“And now, we play the waiting game,..” I said as we finally fired off the message.
In the end, we didn’t have to wait long.
Twenty minutes later a message popped up in my inbox.
“RE: Sponsored Kidnap
“Sounds like fun. Why don’t we meet up at lunch time tomorrow to discuss it?”
The deal, was on.
TBC