Tug influences\inspirations

[Deleted User 5168]

I think a lot about the psychological stuff behind tugs, and why we have these oddly specific proclivities, be it domming, subbing, switching, or just an appreciation of the aesthetic of a good tying.
So I have done the super official introspective work of looking back at some stuff that, I believe, has personally molded me into the rope loving, training oriented dom that I am. Lemme start off the conversation!

COMICS! Looots of bondage in comics, and they were always exciting scenes. Whether it be a damsel, a muscled hero, or some nefarious villain, the power dynamic in these scenes, as well as the aesthetic was always fascinating to me. When these comics got animated adaptations, the gag-talk also added a wonderful dynamic to the power discrepency. (If you haven't seen it, 'The amazing spider-man!' number 107 has cover art that ANYONE interested in \M tugs should see. Absolute masterpiece.)
KARATE! When I was a lad, my dad insisted that me and my brother do something physical, and since he liked self defense, and we were not interested in sports, Karate was a natural option, and boy am I glad it was. Not only did it help me get in\stay in shape, but the strong emphasis on respect and hierarchy helped me be efficient but also productive, and at times gentle as a dom. This also helped me develop more of a tendency to be a 'trainer' rather than some other variation on dominance; I like to see my subs grow, and to grow alongside them. Training with the senseis and senpais, working together physically, that all influences how I approach this stuff. Also introduced me to martial arts like hojo-jutsu, a sub-set of judo. You may know that hojo jutsu developed into modern, more erotic expressions of bondage, like the very famous shibari\kinbaku, which I respect. But, something about the more practical, yet aesthetic approach of a martial art based around restraining prisoners was extremely appealing to me.
MILITARY! My father was in the military, and it reflected in the way he disciplined and raised us. I am glad for it, as me and my siblings are quite disciplined, respectful, driven folks. That confidence obviously helps as a dom, but the particular culture of say, a drill sergeant barking out orders to train and toughen up his men strongly influenced me. It also informed pretty much the only way that I 'switch'. When I find someone else who has skills or confidence that I respect, I am willing to take on the role of a 'soldier' under their command. Not giving up my place as a dom in other regards, or even acting in a traditionally submissive way, but acting as a respectful soldier who is, currently, outranked. One such fella who 'outranked' me happened to be training to be a ranger, before he felt a calling in other areas of life. He helped me with physical training, which I continue to this day, and even showed me some military techniques for restraining prisoners which (again, due to the practicality that I find so appealing) I still incorporate to this day. (He also wasn't strictly speaking supposed to tell me that kinda stuff, so shhhh)

Now, I want to hear about you folks! What got you started down this rabbit hole? Did any experience or piece of media shape your preferences after that? What's your thought process behind how and why you tie, or get tied? Let's talk!
For those who recognize the name, yeah, I took a break. I was getting distracted and needed some time away to keep working on some writing of mine that hopefully goes professional. So, it's good to be back, but posting will be more rare, and wish me luck on my ventures! Missed you crazy people. [mention]bondagefreak[/mention] [mention]DeeperThanRed[/mention] [mention]The slave[/mention]

[DallasNotAustin]

I can't trace it back to a single event, but the most likely thing for me was probably cartoons. I've always had a thing for it though, I remember a lot of childhood games, the occasional party, and other such stuff going on that probably just all compounded. I can't really explain why I'm so fascinated with the idea of being bound or binding someone, it's just something that has been ingrained within me probably since I was born. There's been research that says that we aren't really sure why people develop love for it, though I'm sure lots of people can trace it back to a single event.

This link is an article interviewing someone who studies it and honestly I found it pretty interesting and I fell into the same steps that were proposed until I finally accepted that I had a thing for bondage. Enjoy the read! https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... -is-formed

[Deleted User 5168]

[mention]DallasNotAustin[/mention] thanks for the share! That Cass model was extraordinarily similar to my development in this area. I have personally wondered if kinks develop from a fascination that continues throughout the individual before and throughout puberty, and more specifically sexual maturation. The mind may then link two now developing fixations, and conflate the two. The article seemed to add some credence with the timeline in which kinks tend to develop. Thanks for the info!
Are there particular sensations or emotions that rise up when you're tying, or being tied? I personally have anxiety, and when I used to get tied more often, and now that I tie, it calms me down. If, for no other reason than simply removing variables for me to calculate and manage, lol. The level of trust, and consequent connection, plus the physical nature of it (I am fairly certain men bond more through physical action than through spoken communication) also just feels really good. Plus the power

[DallasNotAustin]

[mention]SkinnySnorlax[/mention] when I’m tying I focus mostly on making sure the other person has a good time and they’re safe. If they aren’t safe, then I and they cannot have a good time, but then again that philosophy is second nature to me in all aspects of life. I enjoy watching people struggle and have fun though.

When I’m bound, I enjoy the feeling of helplesness and the tortures that come with being restraining, though usually more sensual than painful. And while not exactly a guy who loves the power imbalance so much, I can totally see why people love it so much and it is kind of alluring sometimes. But not something I’d enjoy to do a lot.

[slackywacky]

I can't really remember how it started, but I know as a young boy (I know I played TUG's before I was 14) I remember collecting everything that had a tied up female on it, comics, newspapers, adds etc. TV was not much of an influence at that time (we did not get a TV until the moon landing), so it was mostly printed stuff. Not that I have anything left from those days.

When I grew older the computer started to play a role. I ran a bulletin board for a long time and the most downloaded stuff was the porn CD (on a single speed serial CD player) on the system. I remember that most images were crap, but there were a few good ones.

When I got older I found Bob's discussion board and later Canuck's board, ending up in night long discussions with Mason, Canuck, PH and others. And for me they were 'nights', as at the time I was living in Europe. I do miss those discussions sometimes. Mason and I were discussing all kinds of plans outside of the board, including meeting up, but alas it never happened.

During all those years seeing a bound woman, whether in advertisement or TV or movies always gave me the little feeling, the butterflies in your belly that made you want to be her. Harmony produced a lot of magazines, I still have Bondage Life 2 to the last one (never got number 1), which helped me feel less of a creep and more of a normal person. Bondage always had that stigma of being something bad.

Then the internet came and stuff became easier. The media also helped with bringing bondage more to the foreground (remember the episodes of CSI and CSI:New York?). Bondage seems to be more accepted nowadays, although their will always be people who think bondage is BDSM. For me bondage is a way of escaping. After a long stressful week, coming home and spend a while in bondage (and my bondages are pretty restrictive), I can relax and enjoy my for the rest rather boring life. I need to be completely restrained, gagged, ears plugged and blindfolded for the best results, but taking a walk with the dog while handcuffed can also be fun (if you leave the key at home).

And my writing (most of it published on this site and before on Canuck's old site) are a way for me to enjoy bondage even when I am not restrained.

[Deleted User 5168]

[mention]slackywacky[/mention] Thanks for the feedback! Quite a bit of history you have with this particular hobby. It was really interesting to hear about how someone approached this pre-internet; I wonder if I would have done mostly the same. Anyway, thanks for sharing

[slackywacky]

Quite a bit of history you have with this particular hobby

A nice way of saying I am getting old

I was actually trying to create a list of the bondages I have been in over the years. It is turning out to be a long list, including some stupid dangerous stuff. Over the years my selfbondages got more elaborated, but being tied (or released) by somebody else is always better.

Although I also felt I was a wuss at times. I had a couple of opportunities to be placed in restraints (not really bondage) but always chickened out, even though I knew the people who would place me in them (my next door neighbor who is a cop placing me in handcuffs as a 16 year old etc.). I missed some opportunities that, while looking back, might have been interesting.

I still travel often with my bondage gear (really wonder what they think if I go through security at the airport with a ballgag or handcuffs in my luggage) and enjoy some quiet time at my hotels. I remember nights in the Westin in Calgary, sitting tied on the wooden chair they had in the rooms, watching the snowplow clean the parking area at the Cinema that I could see from my room. I had set myself the goal I would not release myself until all cars were gone. It took 5 hours before I released myself. Doing things like that inspire me to push my limits (although my body has a harder time keeping up nowadays) and to come up with new more restrictive ways of getting tied.

[Deleted User 5168]

[mention]slackywacky[/mention] lol, yes, sorry sir, I realize now how that came across
I think you're absolutely right; being tied or tying someone else just adds so much to the experience. I honestly have so much respect for folks who can do self-ties; I wouldn't have the patience for it.
You sound like someone who I could really enjoy tying. Like me, it seems like you enjoy bondage, not as a means to an end, but an end goal itself. You like to push your limits for what you can endure, and I like to push the limit of how skillfully, yet safely, I can keep someone tied. Been good hearing your perspective, hope more people get in on this! The thread has been very interesting to me so far!

[slackywacky]

lol, yes, sorry sir, I realize now how that came acros

I still feel (and behave according to my wife) like I am 26. My body does not agree unfortunately.
No reason to be sorry, it was meant as a funny comment. Age, like bondage, is something that is a state of mind. My state is 26

To me, sitting on my wooden kitchen chair (which seems to be my most common bondage position nowadays) having tied my hips to the top of the rear legs of the seat, my knees together and tied to the front two legs of the chair, my ankles tied together with a separate rope and using the left over rope from around my waist rope, tied to the bottom rung of the chair (not off the ground, but I cannot move them), another rope around my upper body (I found that a rope around my waist was causing my old body to hurt) holds me tightly to the top of the chair back. Leather ankle cuffs around my upper arms and an elastic bungee cord of just the right length running between the two d-rings on the cuffs and from there to the rope around my waist, crisscrossing in the back (rope from the left cuff goes to the right side of the waist rope and v.v.) pulls my elbows together (a little, as I am NOT that flexible), leather cuffs around my wrist, tied together with tyraps, make sure my wrists don't move. A short rope from the leather cuffs I can twist around the vertical rungs that make up the seat back and I can tie a knot in it, keeping my hands close to the back and in the middle of the chair back. A blindfold, ear plugs and a ballgag (2 1/4 inch) keep me blind, deaf and silent.

Believe me, being tied this way, I am not moving much and it is all done by myself. When I can I replace the leather wrists cuffs with handcuffs, tied with tyraps to the seat back for as little movement as possible. Depending on the cuffs, I can (in most cases) get out myself (after for example the ice melts and the key is released) or my better half will have to release me (if I do not have a key handy and whenever she feels like it), adding that extra level that self bondage is in most cases missing.

Sitting like that to me feels different than it looks. I have photos from when I am in that position and to me it looks like a (slightly too fat) guy sitting on a chair, with his arms not even close behind his back. However it feels like I am bound with my elbows close together, feeling very helpless. Reality, which is the photo, and fantasy, which is what I feel, are not the same. And thank god they are not, as it would take away my feelings about sitting on that chair. For me, sitting there, sometimes for 15 minutes, sometimes for an hour (my longest session being over 4 hours) is a way to relax. I am sitting in the dark (the blindfold works really well by pressing my eyes shut), I cannot hear much (ear plugs don't block out all sounds, but most) and I am unable to speak (my ballgag does not prevent me from screaming if I need to, just garbles regular speech but fills my mouth nicely), so I can let go of everything that bothered me during the day and I just have to sit around doing nothing as that is all that I can do. Sometimes I will put a headphone on top of the ear plugs and play music, adding another level to the bondage, as I now can not here when somebody enters the room I am in. That visit from my wife to the room when I am "sitting on my chair" as I call it, adds that extra little bit to it. Is she going to do something (like tie my elbows a bit more, replace my leather cuffs with handcuffs, gag me if I did not use the ballgag from the start) or is she just in the room because she needed something from the room?

As I said, sometimes I am bound for 15 minutes, sometimes longer. The disadvantage of the leather cuffs is that I can undo them at any time, therefore I try to use something that gives me a reason to sit there longer. It could be a timer that goes off after x minutes, I count cars (I need to hear x cars come by before I release myself), I use sounds (the dog needs to make a sound in the evening before I get out), but nothing prevents me from freeing myself earlier and often that happens. But then, sometimes I just needed 15 minutes, sometimes I needed 2 hours.

Even when I am handcuffed and my wife has to release me, after a while I want out, but I don't really want out. Yes, after sitting on the chair for 2 hours, my body does not mind to be released, but whenever she releases me I feel like it is too early. My mind thinks I look like this URL: https://www.tugstories.com/download/fil ... d=4333&t=1, but in reality it does not look this nice

I wrote about an self bondage experience on the board before (URL: https://www.tugstories.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=3063) in which I was tied to a post and I would have gladly stayed tied longer, but my body decided differently.

I spend many hours strapped to a bed, tied down with leather cuffs to the four corners of the bed after she tightened the fourth cuff, which I could not do. When I was younger I was tied in hogties (with tyraps that I had to cut as my wrist bondage) and many more positions.

To make a session special, something else needs to happen. For example, I can handcuff myself to the chair, without a key in reach and therefore I am depending on my better half, but she is out (at the neighbors or something similar) and I have no clue when she will get back. Yes, I am aware of the dangers being bound and gagged alone, but that is an acceptable risk I am taking. It is not that I am doing a session when she has to come back from hundreds of miles away. Or I sit there with the cuffs unlocked until I hear her and I will lock the cuffs at that moment. And even when she is in the house, things can go wrong, as she once slipped and fell down the stairs while I was helplessly sitting on my chair. I have sat, handcuffed with no key, on my chair while she had a 'girls only' party upstairs and she knew I was sitting there. I have sat on my chair while she had friends over for tea/coffee. Those are the bondages that add a little extra, that little unknown that makes your bondage special.

In the end we all know we will be released sometime. It does not matter who does the tying. I would love to be tied up without having to do it myself, but my better half only indulges me a little with this 'hobby', releasing me when I am stuck is as far as she goes (but I am not complaining, because she could refuse to do anything). I am a switch, I can do and enjoy both the tying and being tied, but other than the self bondage, that is about as far as real life goes. You can see the theme of being tied up and not knowing when you will be released in my stories too (URL: https://www.tugstories.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=2014). Who knows, maybe someday I will be in a position to be tied up without having to do it myself, but for now I am happy that I can do a decent self bondage.

Thanks for reading my ramblings, hope it gives some insight in what goes on in my mind when bound.

[DeeperThanRed]

[mention]SkinnySnorlax[/mention]

I never thought aout the mindset between TUGs much, but it's an interesting topic.

I recall loving when a guy gets gagged in cartoons and shows, but I didn't get that it was a Thing before highschool, when I had free access to internet. Before that, I tied up one of my action figures and occasionally handgagged a friend in games.

Stuff like Bondage Jeopardy and Deviantart made me understand my interest in bondage was decidedly sexual (it also helped me to come in terms with I'm gay, but that's another story).

I've always had a problem with opening up to people and I think the idea of bound and gagged men excites me because it ensures I'm in the control of the situation. Being tied up is also relaxing, even if it's not my main preference.

Also, I took a few judo classes. I can't say it had a big impact on me, aside from wanting to see our young and handsome instructors tied up.

Last of all, good luck with your writing! I know writing regularly can burn you out, so take your time.

[Amm1973es]

It would be about 14 when I saw an episode of the inspector gadget in which they captured Penny (although here they called her Sophie) captured by Mad agents who manipulated the computer that replaced Inspector Gadget in an episode and sent him to unemployment, previously already I had noticed a certain attraction to those scenes but it was not until that I really have memories that I realized of my tastes. Although I could not give it a name until I had access to the internet and see it on Anglo-Saxon websites, the issue of sex was not something that I could usually talk to my parents and even less if it went out of the ordinary as was the case. It is something that keeps me for me until recently, since a part of me saw it as something bad and unrealizable.
I have never been attracted to bdsm or anything extreme, it is more like a game between a couple who enjoys role play without submission or domination in between. Or simply have it tied and gagged while watching television, or hugging at night.
I was also influenced by the 80s youth detective books (Nancy Drew style, the five, puck, trixie belden).